#SorryNotSorry

Chapter Eight - 2015

"Happy Birthday, KamBam!" I woke my now five year old up.

"Mama, I need five more minutes. Let a young prince sleep!" He said annoyed putting the comforter over his head.

He was too grown for his own good. Didn't help that Darren and Rico spoiled him to the fuckin core. That's my baby though.

I left Kamden in his room and crept downstairs to the kitchen to cook up some breakfast. I pulled out everything to make eggs, bacon, grits, and cinnamon rolls. Just as I was finishing up, Rico walks in with breakfast tacos from Taqueria Melis.

"Really, Rico? Can I not cook breakfast for my child?" I stood with my hand on my hip.

"Chill out, Kai. My G son asked me for this yesterday," Rico smiled showing off his new slugs. I swear if he wasn't my nigga, I'd fuck. I can't smash my homie though. It would be too weird.

A few minutes later, Darren comes in the kitchen with some McDonald's.

"Sweet Jesus! Y'all will be the death of me, I swear! How y'all let a five year old play y'all like that?" I halfway laugh.

Darren looks around confused, then sees all I cooked and the bag of tacos.

"Kamden Zacory! Kitchen! Five seconds!" Darren yelled.

Darren did spoil Kamden, but one thing Kam never did was disrespect D. We hear running down the stairs and Kamden slides in looking at the three of us.

"Uncle D, I'm sorry," he said catching his breath.

"Do I get a sorry too?" Rico asked with a mouthful of cinnamon roll.

"Sorry, G Pops. Sorry to you too mama. I didn't know you were gonna cook," he said coming to me for a hug.

"Nah bruh, I'm good." I fold my arms backing away a little bit.

Tears started to quickly fill his big, brown eyes. I almost instantly melted and picked up my baby. Yeah he played my ass like a fiddle. I'll admit that.

"Put his big, grown self down Kai! That's why he so spoiled nah." Darren shook his head.

"This my baby, doe! He's five!" I squeal getting excited. Even though Kamden is a brat, he really liked simple things. The average five year old would want a theme party with all their friends. Kamden just wanted to spend the day at home with me, Rico and Darren.

He tried inviting his dad to dinner later at Pappadeaux's, but he said he had to "think about it". I gave up trying to reason with Cantrell after he had the nerve to demand a DNA test when Kam was two months old. Well guess what, bitch ass nigga? You ARE the father!

As corny as it sounds, I couldn't even really move on from Cantrell. I tried dating, but it didn't work out. I couldn't find anybody that I could just click with. I'd find myself drifting away on dates and shit. Hell, Cantrell was my first. Well ... My only. Maybe I should just go out and fuck somebody. Sammy want me to go to the club with her and the girls just once anyway. I need to get out the house. Anyways, back to my baby's day.

We played around in Kam's arcade room practically all day and ate on the breakfast food when we got hungry. At around six o'clock we all got ready to go to Pappadeaux's for dinner. When we got to our table, Cantrell was already there drunk off his ass being loud. I couldn't do anything but shake my head.

Darren snatched Trell up by his shirt and took him outside with Rico following. I didn't want Rico to catch no case behind this fool. He still wanna kill him. Kamden shrugged off his donor. He sat at the table counting the glasses Cantrell left on the table.

"Six. Six glasses, mama," my baby looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Does he not love me? Why can't G Pops Rico or Uncle D be my dad?"

"Baby your dad does love you. He's just going through some stuff right now," I tell my baby pulling him into a hug.

"You always say that mama. Mama, G Pops loves you. Uncle D loves you too, but G Pops really loves you. Like a lot."

"I know they love me. We've known each other since we were younger than you," I raise a brow. Kam what you tryna say?

"No, mama. G Pops loves you. Like the way Mickey loves Minnie. They kiss and stuff. I think G wanna kiss you," he stares in my direction with a sly smirk. This boy is too much.

We get up from the table and head for the exit. When we make it out, Cantrell is laughing like it's a joke to just ruin your child's birthday dinner. I walk past with Kam ahead of me. He stares me down biting his lip.

"Kai! Baby! When am I gon get that pussy again?!" He yelled like I was a mile away.

I turn and almost end up bumping into this drunken fool. "Never. Again. Tell your wife and twins I say wuddup doe. Besides, my dude wouldn't allow that," I smirk knowing damn well I'm more single than the number one.

Cantrell seemed to sober up a bit once I said that I had a dude. It kinda looked like he was clutching his invisible pearls. "You got a nigga around my son? Who this nigga uh yours?"

He was vexed and I loved it! But damn. I didn't think of a fake name, job, backstory, none of that shit. I was about to start rambling, but Rico came up behind Cantrell and said, "Me. You gotta problem?"

"Nah, man. I ain't know y'all was together. Now I see the type of fuckboy Kamden gon be," Cantrell smiles looking back and forth from me and Rico.

Rico goes for the holster beside him and I grab his hand. He stared deep into my eyes and it was like my heartbeat slowed down. What the fuck was goin on? He pulled my chin and pressed his lips to mine. When I say there were fireworks going off in my head, I mean the illegal ones that you gotta drive to Mexico to get were goin off. He kissed me like this would be his last day on earth.

I pull away from the kiss breathless. Rico looks pleased by my reaction and Cantrell starts rambling on about whatever.

"That's the shit you put around my son? You worse than ya moms," Cantrell yells out.

Something in me clicked. Right when he compared me to Yolanda, I saw pure red. "First off my nigga, lower your voice. Only my father and big dick niggas have the right to attempt to fuss at me. Rico is more of a father to Kamden than you'll ever be! Just cuz you stuck on my pussy, don't mean you run me. Just because I won't get back with you don't mean you have to be less of a father to Kamden. He didn't tell yo ass to cheat on me when I was pregnant," I snarled pulling Rico's gun from the holster. Rico went to my car where Kam was and distracted him so he wouldn't see what was going on with me and Cantrell. Darren came out of his car in the parking lot to where we were.

"Kai, put the gun dahn. This worthless nigga gon get his," D tried to reason with me.

"This nigga should've been dead five years ago!" I raise the gun aiming for Cantrell. This time was not gonna be a warning graze.

"If you gon shoot me, then shoot," Cantrell antagonized laughing his head off. Why did I let this fool have this much power over me? After all the crying and "he ain't shit" songs I've written, he still had this hold on me. It's my fault. I did play side chick to his wife for a while. I ended that a year ago though. Fuck my life. I was supposed to be getting a fucking doctorate in Pharmacy by now.

I didn't realize I had drifted in my thoughts. I really have to keep up with my depression meds. When I came back to, Cantrell was coming at me. I froze with the gun still raised. I closed my eyes and a silent gun shot went off. Thank the gawds for silencers.