I'm Just a Would've, Could've, Should've Been (Oli Sykes & Austin Carlile)

Oh, Give Me A Break

I checked our merch tent next. She wasn't there either. Instead, I was held up to sign autographs. Then, I walked by OM&Ms merch tent, too, which was just a few tents down from ours.

"Oli!", a familiar voice shouted. I turned to see Lily.

"Ello.. how are ya?", I asked her.

"Ugh, tired. But I can't complain because we don't even get busy until after the guys finish their set", she said. "Where are you hurrying off to?"

"I'm.. looking for my girlfriend", I said.

"Your girlfriend? Her name's Zayne, right?" I nodded. "She was here a while ago with Austin when he dropped by, then she followed him to the stage so I guess she's watching their set right now", Lily told me.

"Really? Well, fuck", I mumbled to myself and began angrily walking off again.

"Hey, Oli!" I turned around. "Maybe we can still chill later?"

I nodded and gave her a thumb up. "Text me", I yelled and continued on my journey.  

*****

For some strange reason, OM&Ms security guards wouldn't let me through to the stage despite me having an all access pass. It was probably upon request. But I didn't make a fuss out of it. I just sat crossed legged in the gravel and patiently waited until the set was done.

Alan came out, then Aaron, then Phil, then Tino .. then Austin who's arm was drapped across Zay's shoulders. They were all laughing and talking and smiling, until they saw me. Austin cleared his throat to make my presence known to the others.

"Syko, my man. What's up?", Austin asked.

I completely ignored his question. "You fancy stealing my girl away from me whenever I'm not around, eh?", I asked all too seriously.

"Oliver, I'm not a girl. I'm a woman and I can hang out with who I choose", Zay stepped in, but it wasn't her that I wanted to talk to.

"You damn sure don't act like a woman. So what is it, Carlile?", I turned my attention back to Austin.

"Dude, like she said, she just wanted to watch our set and I don't see the problem with that".

I stood up on my feet. "I'm not trying to start an altercation. Let's just go, babe", I said and reached for Zay's hand.. but she snatched away.

"I'm not going anywhere with you and that attitude! Come back to get me when your common sense returns!", she snapped.

"If I leave now, I doubt that I'll be coming back, Zay. Don't be silly. Let's go", I ordered.

"She says she's not coming. She'll come back when she feels like it", Alan jumped in.

I nodded and threw my hands up. "Alright. Its your decision. I still love you anyway, whether you feel the same for me or not. I just feel like what you did today was really low. You know that I wanted you there. You know that I needed you. But whatever. Nothing matters anymore, now does it? ", I said to Zay as I walked away.

"Oli", she called softly from behind me but I continued on.  

*****

"I love your accent. I'm sure your fangirls drool over it all the time, don't they?", Lily asked me. We were hanging out in lawn chairs in front on the bus as the sun went down.

"They drool over me in general. Not just my voice", I corrected her in a non-cocky manner.

"It's understandable though, isn't it? You know that you're hot", she said seriously but with a smile.

I smirked. "I'm okay, I guess".

"Don't be in denial. You know exactly how sexy you are. That's why you were able to get the most beautiful supermodel in all of Europe", she told me.

"Well, I actually got her because we connected so much. We just had.. compatability and a love for similar things".

"But.. you love music and she loves fashion", Lily stated, seeming confused.

"Yeah but I have my own clothing line so I love fashion and I model, too. And she loves coming on tour with me because she loves getting inspired by new music. Things.. just didn't.. didn't work out this time", I said slowly.

"Awww don't worry, Jaws (which she has began calling me sometimes because she liked my jawline). She'll soon realize what she's at risk of losing. I'm sure that she knows that she's lucky to have you. Any girl would kill for someone who's as.. protective, caring and loving as you are", she said holding her head down and going into deep thought.

I turned to face her. "So what's your story?"

She gave me a very fake smile before speaking. "My ex.. was abusive. He punched and slapped me around. He treated me like pure and utter shit. He said the he needed to show me how to be submissive like a woman should be and he forced me to do a ton of things that I didn't particularly enjoy...", she confessed before looking back up at me.

I stared at her with sympathy in my eyes. "I'm.. sorry. I had no idea".

I didn't really know what to say. One of the reasons why I took Zay's rape so hard was because I didn't know how to console her so she just had to suffer.. and seeing her suffer made me suffer, too.

"It's alright. I haven't been close to a guy since. Trust issues, I guess", she shrugged.

I let a little smile be etched into the corner of my lips. "What about me? I mean, I know we only met this morning but, do you think that you could grow to trust me?"

She nodded. "I've trusted you enough to tell you this much. That's a start.. so maybe there's a chance".

I sat back in my chair and smiled. "A chance. That's all I'm asking for", I told her.

(A/N: Okay, so I feel like this chapter was written pretty sloppily. Could be because it's my second chapter in one day. I dunno. Give me feedback! I need to know if you guys are enjoying this cause if not, I can spend my time updating my other stories instead? I dunno. You guys tell me in the comments!)