ShadowFeelz

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It had been another one of those days. The kind that, even though nothing much had happened, it tired you none the less. Shadow sighed heavily, rubbing his temples at the forming headache. He had just logged off Steam after a long gaming session with his friends and, quite frankly, he couldn't be happier. 

Shadow rose from his chair, stroking Allie as she lay across his computer desk. He was lost in thought. The last few days had been rough and not only due to his weird sleep patterns, or should he say lack there of. His mind drifted to the last conversation he was having with The Crew.

They had been talking about having a meet up with fans. The whole of them. All in all, it seemed like a good idea. The fans would get a chance to meet them and they would also get to spend some time with each other. And that's what had brought about Shadow's current headache.

SideArms.

Now, everyone was lead to believe that Shadow, well, he didn't have the best kind of feelings for the other guy. Anyone could tell from the videos alone that he would rip into Side any chance he could get. May it be because of another strange confession or question or just down to Side's lack in general knowledge, Shadow would always find a reason to put him down.

But that's the thing. Shadow didn't  hate Side or even dislike him. It was quite the opposite. 

It started back at Joel's wedding, when he got to meet the younger man for the first time in person. Sure, they had all Skyped in the past but face to face is always different. Shadow could see Side's grinning face a mile away and it took everything he had to hold back a mirrored grin. At this point Shadow would admit, well not to anyone but himself, that he started to feel a little something for Side. Shadow would take that to his grave if it weren't for the fact that since that day, them feelings had grown. 

Shadow was frightened. He had never felt something like this before or anything for that matter for another guy. He was always under the impression that he was straight. Hell, he loved women. But Side... Side made him happy. Even if he never showed it. It was Shadow's fear for what he felt which lead to him acting like he did. He didn't want anyone to know so what better way to hide your feelings then to act the complete opposite. Right?

Shadow sighed again. The thought of seeing Side again made him uneasy. He wasn't sure he could keep these feelings to himself, not after seeing Side's happy smile or hearing his giggle in a place other than over the internet. He needed help, that's for sure. But who could he turn to?

Speedy was out of the question. Him and Side were too close. Not that he didn't trust Speedy, he just didn't want the man to accidentally slip up and tell Side. So no, not Speedy.

Jahova would be a good call. Despite his behavior on social media and YouTube, Hova was a very understanding person. He wouldn't laugh like, say D4 would. But again, Hova was close to Speedy.

Shadow groaned. Why did feelings have to be so damn hard. Shadow grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen before sitting back at his desk, staring at his PC screen. He had missed to Skype calls, one from Speedy and the other from G18.

Now there's a thought. G18, while he was close to Side, he wouldn't slip up. Shadow was certain of that. Shadow had shared some personal things to G in the past and nothing had become public knowledge.

Unscrewing his bottle, Shadow took a large gulp of water in preparation for what he felt would be one of the most difficult conversations he had ever had with a friend. Placing the bottle down, he called G18. He looked down at Allie and stroked her behind the ear.

"Wish me luck girl." He mumbles to the black cat not a moment before G18 answers the call.

To Be Continued....

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