twisted // tyler seguin

sixty one

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I must've fell asleep on the car ride there since Jesse had to shove me to tell me I was home. I quickly thanked him and headed to my front door and unlocked it. Lights were still on around the house, and the TV was playing in the distance. Savannah's head peeked out of the living room down the hall. She looked small compared to the huge walls and pillars of this house. "Hey babygirl." I mumbled out, squeezing her into a hug. "Please tell me everything went okay." She looked up at me from the captivity of my arms, showing me nothing but her green eyes.

"It was fine. I'm worried about you. Are you okay?" Savannah muffled into my chest.

I nodded, laughing. "I am now that I'm with you." I released her from my grip to give her a kiss. She cringed afterwards, making me laugh even more.

"Tyler," She said tasting her lips. "You taste like Bud Light. Are you drunk?"

I nodded. "Yeah, sorry." I was laughing harder than I should be, which caused her to laugh.

"You're pretty cute for a drunk guy." She raised her eyebrows slyly. I wonder if she knew how much she was taking after me. She turned off the TV and lights before sending the dogs upstairs. "I'm sleeping with you tonight."

"Isn't that your only option?" I joked.

Savannah laughed as she headed up the stairs with me following. "You're not drunk enough to stop making passes, are you?"

I shook my head. When she turned on the light to my room, I flopped on my bed. Cash and Marshall laid themselves out on the carpet. "You're not sleeping in those are you?"

"No." I muffled out.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a hard punch to my shoulder. I sat up instantly, sobered up a bit. "What the hell?" I cried out, rubbing my arm. Savannah was in one of my Stars shirts and a pair of undies, holding my sweatpants.

"I told you like 15 minutes ago to put these on, and you didn't budge." She stared at me, waiting for a response. All I could do was stare at her as she wore one of my shirts; it hung off of her perfectly, presenting her small frame. What was it with girls and oversized shirts? "Cool, so you're wasted." She said hopping onto the bed.

Savannah straddled me with an attitude apparent on her face. Her skinny fingers unbuttoned my jeans before she crawling back. She gripped the hem of my pants and yanked them off. "Sav, what the hell?"

"I asked you to put these on and you're staring at me like I have five fucking heads!"

I sobered up a bit again, getting off the bed and taking my shirt off. "I'm sorry." She smiled at me as I put on my sweatpants. "Are you happy now?"

"You know it."

I shook my head and got under the covers. The lamp shut off and Savannah pulled me closer to her as I got comfortable next to her. "How drunk are you?"

I shrugged. "I dunno."

She gave me an annoyed look and I tried to talk to her as stable as possible. "I was um, talking to Jesse about something earlier."

"And what was that?"

I exhaled before delving into details. "Savannah, please don't yell at me, but I really want you to hear me out. I think something's wrong with you. I know I'm drunk, but please take me serious. Mentally wise, I think you're going through long-term symptoms of TBI. I really do. And I don't want to loose you. God, I don't want to loose you. I know your mood swings, but they haven't been as normal as they usually are. I know I'm drunk, but please hear me out. Don't hate me, but I think you're going through Bipolar disorder or anxiety. You feel like everyone is against you, and they're not. And you're not telling anyone how you feel, and you need to babygirl. That's the only way we can help. And I feel like you're not telling us everything. And I want you too. Do you trust me?"

Savannah's eyes were wide and barely blinking. "I-Of course I do."

"So why do you never tell me anything?" I asked.

Her face scrunched in confusion. "Tell you what?"

"How you fucking feel, Savannah." She quieted down and I knew that I scared her. "Sorry. I didn't mean to curse." Her hands went to her eyes for the second time that night. "See? You're crying too much. You never cry this much."

Savannah dragged her eyes across her face. "I don't tell you because I don't know my damn self. All I can do is try to tell you what I'm going through. And how can I do that? How do I explain what's wrong with my brain? I don't know how, and if you can tell me how, then I'll gladly do it. I feel trapped inside of my body. Like, I can't fully engage with you without me holding myself back. Is that anxiety? I don't fucking know, Tyler. My chest is hurting just from telling you, it's like- insecurities I never had are spawning and eating me away. How are you going to help me?"

I said nothing. All I did was admire her beauty, her rawness.

"Why are you so quiet?" She sobbed out. "Answer me." Her small hands slapped my arm, barely doing any damage compared to her hit earlier.

"You hate being vulnerable, don't you?"

She nodded, wiping away another wave of tears. Her side of the bed started to collect tear stains. "You know that." Another paused occurred, and a painful sob ripped from the back of her throat, causing me to flinch.

"What the fuck Savannah?" I said sitting up. Her face was buried in her hands.

"Tyler, I don't want you to leave me tomorrow. You can't. Please don't." She started to sound how she did before I left earlier, and I started getting worried.

"Savannah, I can't miss this game. I physically can't do anything about that."

Her crying intensified which only startled me more. Then, she started hyperventilating. "Tyler," She choked out. "Please."

She was having a panic attack.

I didn't know how to help those who underwent these episodes, but I remembered that it was best to help the other person do something repetitive to help them calm down.

"Savannah, look at me." I gripped her as hard as I could and stared her in her eyes. Her chest was vibrating from her wild breathing. "Savannah, count to ten with me."

She swallowed. "One." We said in unison.

"Two."

"Three."

Her breathing became normal again by nine, thankfully. We counted backwards just in case. When we were finished, her eyes were bloodshot like a bitch, and her hands were trembling.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, wiping her hands on her bare legs. "Tyler."

"Yes?"

"Thank you. I don't know how, but that helped." Savannah rubbed her eyes. "I'm such a clingy bitch."