twisted // tyler seguin

fifty four

Things change. The weather, places, routines, and most of all- people. I knew this since I was younger, just like a vast majority of everyone else. But yet, knowing this, there's still a way to feel a hint of sadness when we watch them change. We get sad when summer leaves us, we get confused when our favorite shop moved around the corner. We appreciate the quicker way to wash our hair, but yet when someone changes- we change with them.

It's almost like The Stages of Acceptance, we go through different phases of emotions that all center around one issue. We deny it, we accept it, we bargain, we get upset. There comes a time where you wonder, what more can I do? What more can I possibly do, for this to become favorable? I found myself thinking those words more than once in different situations.

Memories taste sweeter than the present life and we'd rather be sad than get over it, for some reason. I'm a victim of those words, a little more often than I'd like to be. Nonetheless, somethings change, and that's just life. I can't control whether autumn comes a bit sooner than I'd wanted, or if my favorite store shuts down. Most of all though, I can't control if others lose interest in the qualities that used to make their heads hazy with admiration.

But that's always how it ended- my laugh or smile would tarnish and rot, like some sort of worn out penny throughout the years. What used to be greeted with a warm face, is now only looked amongst with eyes that are colder than snow falling on a young girl's coated eyelashes. You'd stare in the mirror, wondering where you went wrong.

You'd turn the hot or cold knob in the shower a little bit more than usual, and stay in and hum another song that isn't usually in your shower playlist. You'd wipe the steam off the mirror if the shower was hot, and feel your stomach churn at the sight you'd wanted to avoid in the first place.

You'd put on an extra layer of eyeshadow, knowing it was useless but silently praying that it would catch your attention. When you'd ask me what's wrong, I'd blink a couple of more times so you could say something about the layer, but it only proved your assumptions true.

Only that 'you' is me, and I'm stuck in some reverse alternate reality. Things change, and what we used to love so much are now our biggest pet peeves.

A sacrifice is demanded when summer comes. We give up our sense of reality and our tears for the sweltering sun forming drops of sweat on our darkening skin. We trade our rebellion for staying out until midnight, or times worthy of putting the time tag on our snapchats. We get so used to the promises and recklessness that we forget reality- the first sacrifice. And once the fall breeze weaves through the leaves threatening change, we remember.

We remember that things change, and we sometimes have to change with them- and that's why it's my turn to make the sacrifice.