hey jealousy // michael clifford

eleven

Avery didn't know what to say to Ashton, which was why the two of them had just been staring at each other since they sat down in the small café that they frequented.

He wanted to talk about the situation with Michael, she wanted to actively pretend their was no situation in hopes that the whole thing – boy included – would just disappear and let her get back to her normal, totally average life. At the same time though Avery was just itching to tell someone about what had been going on and how she'd been feeling and there was no question that Ashton was the person she was going to tell – he was virtually her brother and they talked about everything, not telling him would actually be more difficult in the long run.

So with that thought she let out a sigh and tried to ignore the way Ashton's eye lit up triumphantly.

"Okay so you already know that Michael has been staying at my place..."

And then Avery told him about everything that had happened since Michael had appeared on her doorstep; the familiarity of having him around even though so much had changed, still ordering his food for him by accident, the fight about her possibly dating Ashton, the grocery shopping adventure and almost kiss, the actual kiss, her haywire emotions, and her asking him to leave in the most polite way she could this morning - which in actuality hadn't been polite so much as a complete mess.

Avery could tell that all of it must have been sort of a big deal because Ashton didn't try to interrupt her once while she was recounting the events of the last few days. He was trying to hide a small smile behind his mug though and Avery knew that meant that he thought he knew something that she didn't.

"You still like him, don't you?" He asked, no longer bothering to hide the grin on his face – Avery kind of wanted to hit him just so he'd stop smiling at her like that.

"I never liked him, Ash." She sighed, running her hands down her face and staring dejectedly at her coffee. "I loved him, and he didn't feel the same way. It ruined me when we broke up – I can't just forget that and pretend that everything is fine."

"You still have feelings for him, though, don't you?" Ashton didn't wait for her to respond.

"I don't know, maybe. But maybe this is just familiar and I'm used to it but it doesn't really mean anything." Avery shrugged and tried to ignore the knowing look that Ashton was giving her.

"You know just as well as I do that you loving Michael Clifford in the first place was a big deal, that's why it took you so long to say it and why you broke up when he couldn't say it back. It was a big deal. And feelings like those don't just go away Aves, not with time and not even if you really want them to."

He paused for a moment and gave her a once over and Avery wondered if he was realising just how grown up the two of them had become, kind of like she was.

"Look I was never a massive fan of Michael, you knew that, and it was because I was always worried he was going to break your heart. Then when he did I was so angry at him because I had just started to think that maybe he was going to be an okay guy – at least when it came to you..."

He trailed off, looking so intently at Avery that it actually freaked her out a little bit.

"Was there a point you were getting to with that Ashton?"

He blinked a few times before continuing. "I thought you'd gotten over him – but just now, listening to you talk about spending time with him, I can tell I was wrong. You do still have feelings for him Aves and I think it's pretty obvious that he still cares a lot about you as well. And I think you want to let him in again but the thought of being hurt is scaring you too much to actually do it. I guess what I'm saying is I've never seen you happier than when you were with Michael, and if you've got a second chance to be that happy again, I think you should take it."