Control (Frerard oneshot)

Control

                   

a/n Trigger warning for selfharm, possible character death and just depressing shit in general. I've been working on this for about a year now. It's pretty long (in my eyes) (about 8k words so) which is why its posted alone, and not in my oneshot book so that people can decide whether they wanna read this or not and can take pauses from it and idk i have my reasons. Only the beginning is edited lol, its too late and im too lazy the take the last part. Maybe I'll do it in a few days.

ANYWAY:: hUge disclaimer: The plot and idea IS NOT MINE. This is a play called "backfish" that me and my theatre group did last March. BUT I really wanted to make this to share it with you guys. Which means I have translated everything to English, changed some of the lines, added description and context and subtext and everything nice, basically putting meat and flesh on an already built skeleton. If you've ever read a screenplay, you can imagine what I'm talking about. The whole screenplay is basically just lines. Basically I can get sued for this, but I'm crossing fingers that nobody rats on me and that everything will be fine :^^^^^)) ive so much anxiety about this for a year now. Shit what if they find out. What if they google the authors name and the tiTle fucK im fucked. i regret this so much. I'm leaving out the authors name because it'll probably show up if you google their name :^) IF YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE ABOUT COPYRIGHT AND SUCH PLEASE TELL ME OKAY I NEED HELP AHAHHhhah.. I'm probably going to jail for this, wish me luck.

"Backfish."

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are grey.

You'll never know dear,

How much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

People think they see you. They can think they've seen you, through their eyes.  Windows to the soul, my ass. You can't see inside someone's head, y'know? Because it's dark in there, so fucking dark.

I take nothing for granted anymore. You can't take anything for granted. That's how it goes, you see. That is how it fucking goes.

You can travel to new places, but people are always the same. They are all the same. Occasionally you find someone who's different.

We moved during summer break. Mom couldn't stand being called into more meetings by the school. Meetings about me. So we moved again.

And then something happened. It was just before fall-break. My mom was going to Greece with her newest boy-toy. I didn't feel like coming with them. I don't really like traveling. I just want to find a place that is- a place where it is possible to just be.

An already fully packed and stacked suitcase and handbag was placed on the floor, right in front of the entrance. My mom was in her bedroom looking for something. I don't know exactly what it was, neither did I care. Her phone started ringing, and I picked it up from her bag.

"Hello?" I sighed.

A deep, manly voice emitted out of the device, giving some instructions.

"Mom, it's for you! It's your new boyfriend."

"What does he want?" Mom's voice came from the bedroom.

"He wants to know if you're ready. He'll pick you up in a few minutes." I started shuffling into the living room, falling backwards onto the couch, telephone still in hand.

"Okay!" I can hear her footsteps getting closer.

I return to the person on the phone, "She says okay. Bye" I hang up before he can reply. Just a few seconds later I see her appear in the door separating the living room and the hallway, buttoning up her coat and checking her handbag. I shoot up again, slowly moving towards her.