Last Days

Last Days, Part 2

Caire set her shoes carefully on the mat beside the door, then stood staring at them as if she had never seen them before.

"Why do I even care if they're straight or not?" she asked herself. She shook her head and walked away, further into the apartment. She melted into her recliner, feeling bone-tired. She recalled what she had told the pigeons about leaving her money to the animal shelter. The birds brought her no joy, but they were good listeners. They did not judge her lack of will to live. They did not find her odd or unsettling, as her colleagues at work had. The pigeons expected nothing but bread crumbs or bird seed. They did not frown and tell her she should just take a walk or watch a funny movie. Their dark eyes seemed to understand. Maybe because they had such short lives themselves. What her colleagues had failed to notice was that Caire did not want their sympathy, or their sad eyes or their suggestions on how to pursue happiness.

She did not tell them when she resigned. She merely assumed they would be told when they came in to find her desk empty, or her position filled with someone else. Caire let her eyes roam around the apartment, trying to see it as another might. Someone else who would come after she had left. Someone who would have to clean up and sort out whatever had been left behind.

Her stack of library books would have to go back. She could do that tomorrow, if she was stronger.

The trash would have to go out, the neighbor's mis-directed mail returned and her financial papers put out where they could be easily found.

She was glad she hadn't gotten the dog she had looked at. She would have been unable to care for it by now. Just the walk to the park and the coffee shop on the way home exhausted her these days. Caire sighed heavily, spending a few heartbeats wishing she had known love just once before the end. She sighed once more and closed her eyes.

Across the room, Fletcher shook her head sadly. She understood now what it was about this woman that had drawn in Ellu. She had no hope, no joy, and no desires. The blonde angel shook her head again, crossed the room and sat at Caire's feet. She reached out and placed one hand on the other woman's leg, and closed her own eyes.

Dream-Caire cast her gaze around the apartment once more, cataloguing all the things yet to be done when she noticed the blonde woman leaning against her dining counter, watching her. Caire did not yell or cry out in surprise or raise any sort of alarm that her home had been invaded. She merely blinked at the stranger.

"What do you want?"

The blonde shrugged. "The question is, what do you want?"

Caire made a dismissive sound. "That's a bullshit question."

"I disagree." The stranger had a much softer voice than her build and demeanor hinted at. "I think it's an honest question."

"Who are you?"

"I am called Fletcher." Her voice was not only soft, but gentle and undemanding.

Caire blinked again. "You didn't answer my first question."

"What I want is irrelevant. What matters is you."

"No, I don't matter. To anyone."

"You should matter to you, at the very least."

"None of your concern. Why are you standing in my apartment?"

"I am here for you."

"For me? What do you mean?"

"I am here to help you."

"I don't need any help, thanks."

"I disagree."

"You can disagree all you want. I don't need any help. You can show yourself out now." Caire settled her head back on the recliner.

"I can't do that."

"Sure you can. You walk over, grab the knob and turn..."

"You feel no hope."

"And you talk strange, but that doesn't change anything."

"I am here to change your mind."

Caire lifted her head and leveled her gaze at the strange woman still leaning in the same position. "And what would you know about my mind?"

"I know you feel more alone than you truly are. I know you feel no love for anyone. You feel no happiness, no joy, no hope. I know you no longer want to live."

Caire sat straighter in the chair. "Listen, I don't know who you think you are..."

"I told you, I am Fletcher." Again, that calm, quiet voice.

Caire rolled her eyes. "Yes, okay, listen, Fletcher...I'm fine with how my life is. I'm fine with what I have and don't have. I don't need people in my life, and I don't need love."

"Yes, you do."

"I've never had it before and I certainly don't fucking need it now!" Dream-Caire shot off her chair, across the apartment and stopped a foot away from the blonde who seemed to have all the answers. "I don't know who you are or how you got in here, but I don't need some stalker professing to understand me and what I need! What I need is for you to get the hell out of my apartment!"

"What you need is to be loved enough so that you can see there is something worth living for."

"And how the fuck would you know that?" Caire snarled as her head started to pound.

The stranger, Fletcher, lowered her gaze to the floor and sighed. When she raised her eyes again, they were bright with tears. "I have some experience in matters like yours. Please believe me when I tell you that there is always hope."

"Why should I believe you?" Caire spat dismissively.

Fletcher sighed again and Caire felt her heart lurch to a sudden and stunned stop when two large black wings unfurled from behind Fletcher's back.

Caire's eyes snapped open and tracked to where her dream-intruder had been. Thankfully, the space was empty.

She gave a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived as she realized someone was knocking on the door.

Her brow furrowed as she pondered the fact that no one ever came to her door. Perhaps it was only a neighbor, with some of her own mis-directed mail, she mused as she rose stiffly and slowly from the recliner.

Caire's mind was already planning a return to sleep as she opened the door and looked straight into Fletcher's green eyes.

"I brought coffee."

To be continued!

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