Beneath the Fountain

20. Alone

But I don't. I don't want to worry him. Not when he already has enough to worry about.

I take a deep breath and wipe away the tear, blinking away any others threatening to spill. I nod, trying to convince him that I'm alright, trying to convince myself. My voice comes out stronger this time, firmer, "I'm fine, Mystery."

He stares at me for a moment, studying me. His eyes say that he doesn't believe me, but his words betray him because he slowly says, "Okay."

To prove to him that I'm fine so that he doesn't have to worry, I'm the one to continue walking again. It feels like I'm pushing against a wall, but with all my will power, I finally am able to move forward again. I take my hand from his, and leave him a few paces behind me. For once, I'm the one who is taking the step closer to my impending fate, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. The fountain looms before me, and I'm afraid step into to it. I'm afraid to take a step closer to Mr. Daniels.

My shoulders start to shake as I stare at the monument, my nerves and courage fleeting. I keep my back to him, because I know that as soon as I see Mystery, I'll crumble to the ground and cry. I'm starting to get a very bad feeling now. It feels as if a snake has wrapped itself around my heart, and slowly but ever so painfully, it is starting to constrict.

However, the worst part is that Mystery is that snake.

"Sage, don't leave like this." I hear him take a step closer to me, and that feeling tightens. "Don't leave while you're upset again," Mystery pleads from behind me.

I close my eyes because sometimes not seeing at all is better than seeing the reality of life. "The next time you see me, I'll be Mrs. Daniels," my voice comes out sad, defeated. When I open my eyes again, I'm looking down at my reflection in the fountain, and it is as if I am seeing a stranger. I don't know who this miserable looking girl is that is staring back at me, but she can't be me. She can't be.

But she is.

Mystery is quiet for a few moments. The silence and tension in this air is thick enough to make it hard to breathe. I turn my head to the side, and the girl mimics me. A tear slides down her cheek, but when I go to wipe it off. It isn't there.

It isn't there.

"Sage," he finally says, his voice filled with the distinct sound of longing and regret. He's quiet for another second, a second that lasts a hundred normal ones, or at least it feels that way. I take a shaky breath, bracing myself for what's to come.

No more hiding. No more pretending.

I hear his words from earlier in the night in my head, Maybe it can be our song. You think of me, and I'll think of you. That way we never forget.

I was blind before, or maybe I was just deaf. Maybe I didn't want to understand, but I do know. I always have known but I kept it or buried it beneath denial, and that makes his next words hurt even more.

Finally, that infinite second comes to an end, and no matter how much I prepared myself, it still feels like I took a dagger to the chest when he softly and delicately says, "You and I both know there won't be a next time."

My heart drops so far in my chest that it is a wonder that it is still beating. I stand silent, my entire being breaking, but he can't see that. He can only see my shaking back, my tense shoulders. He can't see that I'm falling to pieces.

He's careful with his words, like a doctor breaking the news to his patient that he doesn't have much time left to live just like my father's doctor did. He tries not to hurt me, but each syllable feels like a rock being thrown against my chest, and it hurts like it is about to rupture. "We both know that you'll be married today, and after that there's no more sneaking out, and soon, you'll be gone completely."