I'm Just a Would've, Could've, Should've Been (Oli Sykes & Austin Carlile)

Never Was & Never Ever Will Be

"Sykes, my man", Austin grinned and lightly hit Oli's shoulder. "What's up?"

Oli shook his head. "Nothing much. You?", he asked, still no emotion in his tone of voice or face. He silently looked from me back to Austin.

"Same dude. I've enjoyed these first few days of Warped though", Austin tried continuing the conversation. Oli nodded his head but said nothing. "Alright nice to catch up with you guys and you too, Zay. I'll have to stop by again to chat. Or you can stop by my bus whenever you want. The invitation is always open", he said.

"Thanks Aussie! I'll drop by later! See ya!", I said.

He nodded and winked at me before exiting the door.

"What's wrong Oliver?", I asked as soon as the door had closed.

"Why was he in here?", he asked.

"Umm.. we were talking. What's the problem? Are you on bad terms with him or something?", I questioned.

He shook his head. "No. But you know how I feel about you being alone with dudes. You know how I disapprove of that, Zay", he said sternly.

"Oliver, it was just Austin", I tried reasoning.

"I'm not blind. I can see clearly", he stated.

"Okay, well, I'm still not seeing the issue here".

"Don't act like you don't know about my rule. If Matt, Lee, Jordan, Matty or I aren't around, you can't be alone with guys. It's for your own good", he fussed.

"Baby, but Austin-"

"Is a guy!", he finished my sentence. "Have you forgotten what happened to you?"

"No! How could I?! But have you forgotten that Austin spent a whole month with us just to be there for me, even when you were busy?", I retorted.

"I was by your side the entire time! Don't you dare make it seem like Austin was the only one! Zayne, I'm only saying this because of how much I love and care for you!"

"I'm not a kid anymore! Don't you think I can take care of myself?", I questioned him.

"No! That's what I'm for!", he yelled his voice cracking. "I'm here to protect you! I'm the one who's gonna take care of you! I love you too much to watch you get hurt again! Especially if it can be avoided! If I can help it, I'm keeping you out of harms way, no matter what I have to do!", he tried yelling but he was trying to suppress his tears, but one fell anyway.

I sighed and gently pushed him down on the couch before sitting in his lap. "Baby, I'm sorry. I- I know that you have good intentions and I appreciate that. I love you so much. You have no idea. And I thank you for looking out for me, k?", I said. I often gave in to Oli just to make him happy. You know those women who never lose arguments with their guys? Yeah, well I'm not one of them. I always broke quickly. I just couldn't find it in myself to hurt Oliver in any way. He was my entire universe.

He nodded. "Damn, I did it again", he murmured to himself. He was talking about how he randomly flipped out on me. We were all aware that one of his only fears was of me getting hurt. That fear had come true once and he obviously was scared of it happening again. He fussed because he cares but I still try to make him see things from my perspective.

"Don't worry. It's not a big deal", I said as I gently rubbed his chest and softly kissed his lips. I then pulled away and began running my fingers through his hair, making him feel better. I gave him a sympathetic smile before wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, giving him a hug. "Thank you for caring. I love you and you mean the world to me, you know that, yeah?", I whispered into his hair.

"You deserve so much more", he whispered back.

"I deserve more? I don't even deserve you. I cause you so much pain. If anything, you are the one that deserves more", I leaned my forehead against his and kissed his nose. He smiled a bit.

"Just promise you'll never leave me. Cause I need you so badly", he spoke.

"I'm not going anywhere. You've got me wrapped around your finger. You know that", I smiled as my thumb played with his earlobe.

*****

Oli and I had fallen asleep on the couch. When we started arguing, the boys closed themselves in the back. They were probably tired and asleep too. I slipped into some flip flops and eased out of the front door. I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked along the gravel ground.

"Aubrei Zayne?", a feminine voice said.

I turned to my right and sheltered my eyes from the sun so I could see who it was. It was Jenna McDougall from the band, Tonight Alive. She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my back. I hugged her back. "Gosh, it's so good to see you, Jenny", I said softly.

"Ayyyee, what's wrong with my shining star?", she asked.

I shook my head. "Headache", I lied.

"Aw I'm sorry", she replied. "If you get to feeling better, why don't you come hang out with me and my band?"

"That's for the invitation. I'll think about it", I smiled and nodded.

"K. Good seeing ya", she said. I waved as she walked away. She's a good girl. I walked under one of the few trees that was around and sat under it. About a half hour later, Oli came out of the bus and walked over to me and sat down. There was silence for a bit before he spoke up.

"Look at Beau & Lights over there", Oli pointed out and grinned. "They're just like me and you", he added.

"Well they're married.. we're not", I awkwardly stated.

He looked at me but I kept looking ahead. "We don't need to be married to be in love", he stated so matter-of-factly.

"Yeah. But marriage is a commitment, Oliver. They're committed. They're a family".

"We've been together 3 and a half years. That's a commitment, too", he said softly, waiting for my response.

I sighed a little. "You don't see marriage in our future, do you?", I asked bringing my knees up to my chest.

He shrugged. "I don't.. I mean.. it's possible, ya know".

"Why don't you ever talk about it then?"

"I dunno.."

"What about kids? You want a family one day, right?"

"Uhm, possibly. I just have too much to worry about right now. My band and I are at the top right now and I can't let anything interfere with that", he told me.

"Not... not even me, huh?", I asked.

"I didn't say that".

"You implied it".

"You're my other half. You don't fall into that category".

"Why don't you like discussing our future with me?", I pleaded. I wanted to know.

"Aubrei, if you're the one, we'll get married and all that jizz. Don't force it".

"IF I'm the one? You've just said that I'm your other half. You don't have faith that I'm the one?"

"I dunno.. "

"You don't know? Okay.. Whatever", I said as I stood up and began walking away. He didn't call me back. He knew there was no use.

Our relationship is heading towards a rut. I can see it. He doesn't understand. Girls want the white Pickett fence type of life. A husband, kids, maybe a dog and cat. All he cares about is his music. I know he loves it and I support him but.. I dunno.. I mean, he isn't even sure of his love for me. Have I just been wasting these last years? Yeah, I guess so. They haven't proved anything to him...

(A/N: Comment & Vote guys! Idk I'm excited about this new story!)