Forgotten

Chapter 5 ~ Revelations

George and Imogen had a four-bedroom house. A master bedroom, one for Liz and one for Kaleb, and then one spare. On nights like this, when I sobbed and cried about my lost family and the injustice of last year, I knew why they put me with Liz and not in the spare bedroom. They were afraid I would take the same fate as my father. With Liz in the same room, they felt that they could somewhat safeguard against any possible suicide attempts.

But I had never considered suicide. Sure, it might be the easy way out, but I didn't agree with it. Why should I be able to choose my time of death when Mum and Ethan couldn't? I felt that it would make their deaths seem less tragic, because those who resort to suicide opt for their death, and I considered that even more tragic than most other forms of death.

Which is why I loathed my father, and why I wanted to persevere with my life that I had been blessed with. I would live it to its fullest, for Mum and Ethan who couldn't.

As if on cue, Liz came into the room a few minutes later. She didn't say anything. She just closed the door softly behind her and laid down beside me on my bed, hugging me tightly, letting me cry.

And whilst I cried, I thought. I couldn't believe the nerve of Imogen. She knew how I felt about my father after his suicide. She knew I hated him. But still, she brought him up as though I still loved him unconditionally and missed him dearly. I raged about it in my mind for hours, eventually falling asleep with Liz.

            *          *          *

I went to school the following Friday morning, and Harry was the only one to notice my change of mood. He had been away sick again, and this was his first day back since last week, so he'd missed a lot of classes. So I was surprised when he asked me in the morning, "Do you want to get out of here? Just for today?"

And in spite of the fact that I had so much work to do that day, I nodded.

We snuck out of the school grounds minutes later as first period classes began. We took the cut across the strawberry farm like we had on our first date, but instead of continuing on into town, Harry stopped by a boundary fence where a few large gums gave excellent shade, and a barrier of blackberries kept us out of sight from the school.

Harry sat down at the root of the tree, and I sat down beside him. He wrapped his arm around me, holding me tight against his chest. And for the first time since yesterday, I smiled.

"I've missed you all week," I told him, kissing his jawbone lightly. His stubble tickled my lips.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Harry said, trying to brush the topic aside. He obviously didn't want to talk about it, but I was desperately curious. This was his third period of taking time off school for being sick, and he hadn't exactly told me what was happening with him.

"You seem to get sick really easily... Is it something serious?"

"Nah, it's alright. Nothing for you to worry about." And to silence me, he kissed me. Not a light peck, but a deep, passionate kiss. His warm fingers stroked my cheek, and I smiled. "Do you want to talk about what's upsetting you?"

I would have usually declined the offer, but I didn't want to keep Harry in the dark. I wanted him to be an intimate part of my life, and that involved telling him things that I went through. So I told him about yesterday, telling him Ri's reaction and Imogen's and George's. And then to further explain why I was upset last night, I told him about how Mum and Ethan had died, and then how Dad had taken his own life. Retelling the chilling memories brought them achingly to the forefront of my awareness.

“When Ethan and Lauren told us they were having a baby, Dad and Ethan had a falling out,” I began. It was the long explanation, but Harry deserved the whole story. He showed he was fully attentive, and so I continued without pause. “They had a huge fight, and then wouldn’t talk to each other. It was so stressful for everyone. Awful. They eventually reconciled, and things seemed to go back to normal.