A Letter From Hell

The Message of a Lifetime

Dear Diary,

I’ve always sort of wondered what it would feel like to be told you were dying.  I mean, in movies and stuff, everyone acts in one of two ways.  They either burst out bawling and attack the doctor/nurse breaking the news, or they act like it’s not happening to them.  They ignore the situation as long as they can.  I’ve never been really sure if this is how you would actually react since I’ve never experienced life or death situations.

Well after today, I can’t say that.  Apparently there is a rare disease spread through my family that only affects a couple people every once in a while.  It’s extraordinarily rare, and there’s no cure.  The effects are totally random and change for everyone.  The most common symptom is pain in varying levels.  Well, I more than likely have this disease.  I may be dying, I might not be.  More than likely I will die earlier than most people.

So what was my reaction to all of this information?  Well, when I was told, it was by my mother- not a doctor.  I brushed it off for her sake because we don’t really know if I’m dying or if I’ll even be in pain.  After she left, though, I submitted myself to hours of sad movies and songs.  I was crying, but not really for myself.  Then, once I went to bed, the real tears for myself started.  Tears streaked down my face as I sobbed quietly for who knows how long.  The strange thing is, I still wasn’t really crying for myself.  In a way I was, but I wasn’t sobbing for normal reasons.  I wasn’t thinking about how I might not have children or how I might never get married or how I might not even graduate college.  I was thinking about how I wasn’t going to be on earth long.  This means I have a time limit, of sorts.

To understand how this affects me, you’d really have to know me.  I hate time limits because I stink at them.  They stress me out and my thought processes go nuts.  I go into overtime and lots of times end of finishing the work early, just so I’m not even close to my deadline.  I had this same reaction to realizing I have a time limit on earth.  I literally may only be on earth a little longer, and this means I need to seriously rush it!  There are so many people I want to see in Heaven, but won’t because I don’t have enough time to tell every single soul about Jesus.

It sickens me because I’ve had about 20 years already to get my game on.  I’ve had opportunities on earth that I’ve missed.  Why?  All because I was worried about what other people would think about me.  Who cares what people think?  It could essentially save their life to tell them about our salvation, but no, I can be too shy to tell people.  That is so, so wrong.  Every single person should be a missionary.  I don’t care if they want to be a musician, nurse, gardener, or teacher- they should be using their lives primarily to spread the Gospel.

When you think about it, everyone, even those who may not have a disease, has a time limit.  We all have an allotted amount of time left, and we need to use it!  We as Christians need to seriously stop worrying about what people think about it, and just go.  If you were told a toddler was crashing to his death and the only way to save him would be to do cartwheels and sing nursery rhymes as loudly as possible in front of the person you are most embarrassed in front of, wouldn’t you?!  Why don’t we see it like that?  It’s the same thing, only much, much worse.

If we don’t share God’s news, the unsaved will go to Hell.  It is a literal place that they will go to.  They will burn for eternity there in agonizing pain.  There is no way out.  People joke and say they and their buddies will find a way out, but they won’t.  There is no way out.  They are going to be there forever without God’s grace.

If I could say one message to the entire world, I would tell every single person that they need God!  They need His mercy and forgiveness! They need to share His grace and love to every person they meet so they can be in Heaven with Him too.  If there were some way I could explain this, I would!  But I can’t.  I guess this is something everyone has to discover for themselves.  I can’t force anyone to understand because that ruins the whole point of us having a choice.  

Well, I have to go.  So much to do and so little time to do it!  Sorry, bad joke.

Love as always,

Dawn