Robin des Bois ✓

nineteen. Of Heart Shaped Donuts And Lots of Roses

The three words echoed in my head, bouncing off my skull, soft and timid at first and then amplified, as if a thousand speakers started playing them over and over in my brain.

I closed my eyes, absorbing the moment, letting my mind soak in the meaning of those three infinitesimal words that held infinity within them.

Alexei took a step back, still holding me, but watching me attentively, his eyes more open and vulnerable than ever, waiting for my verdict with baited breath, as if what I said next would determine whether he lived or died.

"I love you too."

My lips formed the words almost reflexively, as if they'd been hiding there all along, pressed up against the roof of my mouth, just waiting for the right moment to burst free. They felt right as they rolled off my tongue, leaving a sweet taste behind. A taste that promised many more nights like these to come, that promised a thousand more kisses, a thousand more languid caresses exchanged between the sheets and a thousand more moments meant only for him and me.

Alexei didn't kiss me again. Instead he pulled me to him and buried his face in my hair as I pressed my nose against the hollow at the base of his throat. We remained like that for what felt like hours, breathing each other in, content with the proximity and with the silence because everything that needed to be said had been said.

We weren't anywhere near the top of the long climb ahead. But I was more than willing to give it a try.

From then on, the silence wasn't heavy with my unspoken insecurities and when I pulled away, Alexei was smiling that secretive smile that I was now absolutely sure was meant for no one but me.

I turned back to my supplies and dabbed the sponge into a dark shade of violet. The symphony of blues and mauves looked almost bruise-like on his skin, and I smiled at the effect –it looked perfect. He was perfect.

We spent an hour in the study, laughing and talking as I tried out different shades and patterns on him, slowly recreating the dark canvas of a night sky on his chest. In the end, I ended up covered in paint splotches and my arms were violet and blue up to the elbows, but I couldn't recall a moment in the past few months when I'd been happier than right then.

As I was finishing packing up my supplies, Alexei hopped onto the desk, still half naked, covered in paint and downright irresistible. "Stay for the night."

I pushed a curl behind my ear and stared at my paint stained fingers as I answered. "I'd like that."

Alexei slid off the desk and engulfed me in a tight embrace, lifting me up as I squealed a half-hearted protest.

"We need to get all that paint off somehow," he said, laughter in his voice and in his eyes. "I've got an idea. There's only one shower stall and two of us. I think you know what that means."

I bit my lower lip and his eyes seemed to darken with desire as he watched me. He kissed me then and didn't stop until we were in the shower, not even as he undressed me and as I undressed him, pausing only to pull our shirts over our heads.

It was then that I realized how much I'd missed and craved the feeling of his skin against mine, of his hands exploring every inch of me, the feather soft texture of his hair under my fingers... And even as we rediscovered each other again, even as he invaded all of my senses until he was the only thing I could feel and the only thing that mattered, I realized that somewhere along the way I'd grown almost addicted to him, to the temporary bliss of his hips moving in rhythm with mine. After all, this was how we'd started –it was what had brought us together and perhaps that's where all my doubts stemmed from –could something built on such a superficial base last? And yet the feeling that bloomed inside of me when he kissed me chased the last bitter remains of doubt from my mind.