She's Too Naive

Chapter 45

Rosen looked up when he heard me approach. I felt drawn to him, and didn't even hesitate to wrap my arms around his middle and press my cheek into his chest. His chin rested on the crown of my head as he pulled me close, our bodies aligned together. The warmth of the setting sun, heated my skin and fought back the chill that seemed ingrained in my body ever since the night I was taken from Shorely.

I felt the blood drain from my face when I realized something.

"You're staying with me, right?" I treaded cautiously. Rosen's entire body stilled, his arms falling away from me, and I knew his answer before he spoke.

Stepping away from him a few paces, I instantly missed the comfort of his arms but knew we had to talk.

"No," he sighed, looking down and the blacktop. My throat stung, and I felt a tightness form in my chest that had become all too familiar to me the past few months.

"Rosen," my breathing stuttered as I tried to formulate the words I wanted to say. So many things I wanted to say. "You can stay with me. I'll explain to the police, say I ran away. You won't get in trouble." I started blabbering. I could feel the desperation bubbling up in my stomach and making it's way to my tongue.

"I can't Ellie. I need to stay with Chez and Cole, help them end the Def." Rosen kicked a loose pebble, his eyes boring into mine. He looked calm and collected, the complete opposite of how I was feeling.

"You can't just... leave. It can't just end here like this." My eyes burned, stinging with the oncoming emotions. It felt like my heart was crumpling and twisting inside my chest, making every breath I inhaled impossible to take in.

I had to look away from him, and I caught Cole and Chez near the bathrooms, talking and also watching our exchange. I felt a small flutter of unease in my stomach. Were they forcing him to do this?

"I have to, it's my decision," Rosen said, catching onto my apprehension. I could see he was hardening up, his face became impassive and emotionless. Just like he was when I first was with him on the run. Although, back then I had thought he was some type of psycho.

I turned away and climbed into the backseat of the car, slamming the door. I was fighting back the tears in my eyes. I couldn't go back alone. I didn't know how to go back alone. What would I tell the police? My friends? My family. They all would want to know what had happened, and I knew I couldn't tell them the truth. It wouldn't be so simple.

The other car door opened and Rosen slid in from my opposite side. I tried not to look at him, to scratch out every memory of him from my brain. I had to have known this would happen, yet I ignored it.

"I'm sorry," Rosen said after a few moments we remained in silence.

"You're not," I argued. "if you felt any remorse then you would be staying with me."

"Ellie," he sighed loudly. "don't say that."

"It's true."

Rosen stared at me and then shook his head slowly, as if he was disappointed in how I was reacting. I wasn't sure how he had expected me to react, but I certainly wasn't going to be jumping for joy and throwing confetti into the air.

"I think, we both don't really know enough about each other to be in a healthy relationship," Rosen admitted. "I feel like we only connected because our lives were at risk."

"That's not true," I grinded my teeth. "I felt something for you back at Shorely, before everything happened."

"Shorely was a lie, Ellie. That wasn't me." Rosen ran his hand through his hair. "To be honest, I don't know who I am. I've always been raised as someone else, and I need the time to figure out myself before I try to include someone else into my life."

A flash of guilt riddles my bones. In a way, he was right. And I could see where he was coming from.

"Promise me this won't be goodbye?" I asked. looking into his eyes. I needed to hold onto the hope that I would see him again.

He hesitated. "I promise," he finally relented. Rosen held out his arms, and I felt relief when I went into his embrace. He squeezed me tightly, pushing all the air out of my lungs. We were not going to leave each other on a bad note.

I felt my throat finally close, and my eyes built up with water. Gripping onto the back of Rosen's shirt, I tried to settle my raging emotions but I knew it would only be so long before they spilled over.

"Please," I choked on my words. "Don't leave me alone." Rosen's hand splayed across my lower back, his thumb finding the skin on my hip and rubbing across it soothingly. I could almost feel his resolve crack upon hearing me speak.

He inhaled deeply, his breath rattling as he prepared to respond. "Maybe I can talk to them," he relented. I felt my heart pinch, but not with happiness. I had a feeling that he only said it for my comfort.

"Rosen Parker, even if you don't know who you are, I feel as if I do," I said, a sad smile on my face. "And the parts of you that I know are real, that i've seen, are the parts I love." I could feel his sharp intake, his chest rising and then stopping as he held his breath.

I raised my head to look him directly in his sparkling green eyes. He searched my face, almost seeming to check if I was really saying this outloud.

"I'll let you figure out who you are, but I know who you are." I smiled a real smile, this time at him. "You are Rosen Parker, not just another soldier of the Defaecatio. You are good, and you are special. And-" I touched my hand to his cheek, noting the glaze in his eyes.

"-I love you." I kissed him for what could be the last time, my lips meeting his. My head swirled with emotion, my heart racing as I tried to commit his touch to memory. I no longer wanted to forget Rosen, but to remember every part of him. To remember the little scars on his hands from his time with the Def, to remember the moment I saw him in the alley that began everything. I wanted to remember this. Every moment and every part of the events that led to us being here.

I could never forget this.

I felt Rosen's hand shift from behind me, but I focused on the feeling of my lips on his.

He pulled away and I looked into his eyes, unease filling me when I saw the guilt pooled in them.

"I'm sorry," he said, and immediately after I felt a sharp pinch in my upper arm.

"Ow- what. Rosen?" I jerked, looking at the spot where I felt a pinch. I saw a syringe in his hand, and my vision swam.

"What the hell was that!" I exclaimed, anger and sudden fear flooding my sense. I tried scrambling away from him, but my limbs began to feel like jello. A swift and sudden coldness swept through my chest, making it's way to my head.

"Stay calm. Don't fight it" Rosen said, his hand gripping my arms to steady me as I wavered. I ignored him, and fought against the feeling, struggling to keep my brain together as the drowsiness set in. It felt like every part of me was turning to mush, and I was terrified yet my heart rate was slowing. I ended up with my face in Rosens chest, his hands running up and down my back to try and calm me. I tried to speak again, but all that came out was some slurred fragments of noise.

My eyes fluttered closed, and I could feel the numbing sensation finally take over my brain.

"I'm sorry." Rosen repeated.

It was the last thing I heard before the darkness consumed me. 

Okay, oh my god this is it guys. It's ALMOST over. I'm feeling so many emotions right now. This is crazy! Thanks again fro reading and don't forget to leave a comment and vote! 

:)