She's Too Naive

Chapter 36

Somehow Rosen and I ended up on the same bed. Next to each other. Our arms brushing as we inhaled and exhaled. We weren't doing anything besides talking.

"So you've never tried to find your parents?" I asked curiously, looking to Rosen. He smiled and our hands brushed.

My heart skipped a beat.

And then his hand was on mine and he was tracing the lines on my hands with his thumb.

"Never tried, never wanted to," Rosen shrugged. "I don't remember them since I was only a baby, and I'm sure not even the Def know who my parents are."

"Was is strange growing up without a family? What was it like?"

"It was normal to me. I thought every little boy grew up training with the Def. I don't think I knew the outside world existed until I was seven. Year eight is when they send you out on your first mission, so year seven is mainly prep for what to expect when you leave the compound."

I hesitated before asking, "What was your first mission?" Rosen must have sensed my apprehension, as he reassured me with a smile.

"First missions are boring. It's mainly spying on people. You basically see and record any crimes or 'sins' they are committing and bring it back to the council. The council then decides what to do by vote. If the person is lucky, they may just be killed. But sometimes. if they commit some awful sins like rape or abuse, the Def sends a group to kill their family first and then them." Rosen took a breath "Making someone watch their own family die is worse than death itself," I shuddered, my eyes closing at the horrific thoughts of how many lives the Defaecatio have ruined.

"Ellie-" Rosen started, looking apprehensive. "I've killed people. A lot of people. I want you to know, because I think you have this perception that I'm this great person. I'm not."

"You're trying to get away from them, and risking your life doing so. That's all I need to know," I replied back quietly. I was speaking the truth. Maybe it was just because my mind didn't actually comprehend the fact that Rosen has murdered people, ruined their lives. But for some reason, it didn't matter. The person Rosn was today was what mattered most.

"Is the yelling over?" Cole's voice resonated from outside the door. I had actually forgotten he left right before Rosen and I had started fighting over the remote. He had been gone a long time.

"Yeah, it's safe," Rosen called out, shifting so there were a few more inches of space between us on the bed.

When Cole walked in, his eyes only widened for a fraction of a second before he looked amused. "Yeah, there's definitely no yelling going on now." A rush of heat went to my head. Rosen simply rolled his eyes, unaffected by his friend's teasing.

"I have another question," I started.

"Shoot,"

"Since you guys were taught to kill since-- well forever. How did you realize you wanted to leave?"

Rosen sighed, seeming to pull his thoughts together. "It just felt... wrong." Cole had been listening in, and looked up at us from the duffle bag he had been rummaging through.

"For me," he began, "It was after my first kill. I couldn't do it at first. The leader of that mission was furious with me when I didn't pull the trigger and he had to do it himself. He forced me to shoot another, but this time it was only a young boy. A form of punishment for disobeying." Cole's face pinched together. "And I shot him." I could see his hands were shaking, and I felt the blood drain from my face. "The kid was my same age at the time, we both were only ten."