Stay Strong

-Laura's POV- *Flashback to yesterday*

"Hey nerd, what you got planned tonight? You gonna hang out with your friends?" Ross teased, following close behind me with his group as I walked frantically to the school bus, desperately wanting to escape the taunting comments from him and his friends. Ross is the main one in the group and the one who bullies me the most. Luckily, because I am a girl, the boys don't physically bully me, and the girls are too afraid that their manicures will get ruined if they do, so my body is unharmed.

"Or are you gonna sit at home alone wishing you had some?" Luke, another member of the group, added. He's right though. I have no friends and I'll admit that, never have and never will. Ross is right too, I am a nerd. I wear glasses, am a straight A* student and am unsocial. Because I don't have friends or a social life, I never get invited to parties, or even to hang out on the weekend. My whole life consists of school studies and being bullied.

"Have fun crying yourself to sleep tonight loser!" Josh sneered and everyone laughed loudly at his 'funny' remark. He's right about that too. I very rarely get to sleep without bawling my eyes out and having all the hurtful words circulate in my brain, lingering in my ears everyday and night. I hardly eat either. Ever since, yet again, being bullied when I was younger because I was chubby and everyone else was slimmer than me, has lead to me being conscious about what I eat now. I'm a lot skinnier now than everyone else. I thought it would make me feel less insecure, but instead it makes me feel worse because I get bullied about that too.

They followed me all the way to the bus until it came. They all pushed past me, knocking the books I was tightly gripping in my arms into a muddy puddle. I sighed and bent down to pick them up when the bus came to the stop, splashing a large puddle on the side of the road all over my clothes. Sighing once more, I climbed up the two steps and was greeted by the driver, Ed. A lovely old man always trying to cheer people up.

"I'm so sorry Laura, I didn't see the puddle there. This weather, ay?" he said, attempting to make me laugh a bit. I chuckled at his 'funny' comment and put on a smile "It's okay Ed. So far that's been the highlight of my day" and walked to the back of the bus.

I always look at the floor when I walk down the isle. Mostly because of embarrassment, but also in case someone sticks their foot out and trips me up. Believe me, it's happened before.

The bus finally stopped outside my house. I got up and walked back down the isle with my head down and my eyes focused on the floor. I thanked Ed and jumped off. Walking through the heavy rain, I climbed the step and rang the doorbell.

My sister Vanessa opened up and flashed me a smile. Our parents passed away when she was seven and when I was five, so now we live together in a small house on Derby Lane. I don't mind it. I mean, we've always got along and have never had troubles with each other, and she takes care of me. She knows I get bullied, but we never talk about it.

Before I went upstairs to dry off, I emptied my wet rucksack and put it in the washing machine, which we keep in a cupboard in the kitchen. I pressed the on button and carried my soaked books upstairs into my room.

I yanked the door open and slammed it shut with anger. "Those idiots ruined my books" I huffed and put them aside. I started to take off my muddy clothes, water dripping all over my bedroom floor, and put them in a pile beside the shower. Turning the water on, I hopped in and enjoyed the warm water cleansing my dirty body and hair, until it went freezing cold. I jumped at the cold temperature and groaned. "Great" I grumbled

After finishing that unpleasant shower I wrapped a large towel around me and shivered as the cold breeze passed me. I took a step towards the sink to grab my comb when I stepped on something sharp. "Ow" I shrieked at the piercing sensation in my toe. I lifted up my foot to see one of my blades sitting on the floor. Did I mention I cut? Picking it up and wiping away blood from my toe, I set it on the side for later.

I know it's terrible to do such a stupid thing, but when you're actually in the situation it makes a lot of sense. It's like the physical pain is a substitute for my emotional pain. When I cut, I feel better mentally, but worse physically. I feel immature and just plain stupid. Sometimes it makes me feel like I have serious problems- oh wait, I do.

I left my bathroom and changed into a pair of warm pyjamas and got down to my homework and extra studies.

*End of flashback*

"Laura, dinner!" I hear my sister call from downstairs, interrupting my flashback to yesterday. I do this nearly every evening. I think back to the worse parts of the day and then talk to myself. I acknowledge what I'm doing wrong, like listening to what the bullies say rather than ignoring them like my parents told me too, and also cutting which Vanessa doesn't know about, nor anyone at school.  But then I feel sorry for myself, resulting in crying till I fall asleep.

I jog downstairs. As I approach the kitchen the smell of Spaghetti Bolognese fills my nostrils. "Mhmm" I express my contentment to the lovely smell of Vanessa's cooking. She's always been good at cooking and so does all of it for us, just like my Mother used to. My Father would either read a book or watch TV in his spare time like I do now. That is when I'm not burying my head in some science or maths book all night. It might be news to you, but nerds can watch TV and listen to music which isn't classical and boring, like normal teenagers do.

I sit at the island and switch on the TV while Vanessa fills our plates. She places the hot food and a drink on the table. "Van, this is way too much for me" I stare at the large amount of food she gave me. To you it's a normal quantity, but for me it's equal to three plates worth. She knows how I am with food and why, but she won't start an argument about it. Instead, she just simply replies; "Eat what you can" and hands me a fork and spoon.

...

"That was lovely" I compliment her delicious cuisine and bring my half empty plate to the sink. She's forced to throw the leftovers away but will eat the rest occasionally. Vanessa eats quite a lot but is still a nice size. I wish I could be like that.

I bring my drink upstairs and begin to study some more until I get so tired that I can't take anything else in. Before snuggling up in bed, I go to the bathroom and sit on the floor with my blade. I close my eyes and let all the hurtful words run through my mind. 'Nerd, geek, skinny, ugly, worthless, four-eyes, clever-clogs, useless-' Slash.

 

I rip the blade across my wrist and bite my lip hard. Wincing at the pain, I whimper as the blood gushes out. Because I do this everyday, even sometimes in school, I only cut once. That one cut takes my emotional pain away and sends in a moment of physical pain. When the stinging feeling dies down, I wipe up the blood and cover the fresh wound with a plaster.

Slowly crawling into my comfy bed, the only place I feel happy and comfortable, I switch of my lamp and rest my pounding head. A few moments later, I drift off to sleep. That's when all my troubles float away and don't return till the morning.

Another day, another misery.

 

A/N: So guys, this is the first chapter to my second Raura fan fiction, woo! I loved writing this, so please read it and tell me if I should carry on?

If you read the message I sent earlier today, I said I am definitely going to make a part 2 to My Dilemma once this story is almost over. I had this idea which may not be very unique, but I haven't read a story where the boys bully the girl! and I wanted to put it into a Raura fan fic. Next chapter will start with Ross' POV if you do want me to continue.

Thanks for reading! Vote, comment, and enjoy! :) x