Walking Corpse

chapter sixteen

December 2, 2008

Dakota observes Kai's body as he sits with her at the small kitchen table. He raises his eyebrow at her in questioning. She shakes her head and looks away, but then looks back to him.

"How long has it been since you've sat here staring out the window?" She mumbles.

"I'm not really sure," He answers and glances down to the table.

"You've been—off, lately."

"What's making you say that?" He asks and turns to look at her.

She sighs, "I know how you are. You're falling back into it."

"I'm trying," He states.

"Kai."

"Hmm?"

"Don't take up all the weight of your burdens. I'm here for you."

It was like something in him snapped. All the strings that held him together came loose and he lost it. He couldn't contain his frustration anymore and took it out on her.

His words came out bitter and unthought of, "No one was ever there for me before. Why should I believe a damn word you're telling me right now? If you think for a moment that I need you then you're wrong. I only ever had myself, Dakota. I'm used to taking up the weight of my burdens because no one ever thought to help me. They saw me as nothing—not even human! Why the fuck are you still here with me? Can't you see you deserve someone better than me? Is this some sick joke to you?"

Dakota remains still and speechless. For a moment there wasn't anything to say to him. There was more pain inside of him than she could imagine. She wanted to comfort him but was afraid of even touching him. Was he even thinking about his words and actions?

"Kai, you have me now."

"You can't even help me," He sighs placing his hands against his face to block off his sight.

"Because you aren't willing. No one can help you because you aren't willing," Dakota breathes out heavily, "I've been trying, everyone has but you don't let them help you."

"I can help myself."

Dakota had now built up frustration in her. She lets go of another heavy breath, "No, you can't. I know you think you can but this requires more professional help. If you're going through another phase then go back to treatment."

"I don't want to."

"Kai, it would help if you were willing to let them help you. I get that it's hard but it'll help more than you know."

He remains silent at this and avoids looking at her.

Dakota exhales sharply, "I'm going."

"What happened to staying by my side in hardships?" Kai asks before she can walk off.

She glances at him over her shoulder, "This isn't me leaving your side, Kai. You're going through something that I can't help you with—again. I'll be here for you when you figure things out."

Kai watches her walk out of the kitchen and listens to her rapid footsteps up the stairs. He stands up and grips the kitchen counter tightly. A part of him was upset with how the situation was handled, it could've gone better. How was he supposed to deal with the frustration in him currently? Without thinking, he turns swiftly and his hand comes in contact with the stone-like wall. It would've been enough pain to make him scream out but he doesn't. Instead, he stood there in heaving breaths and stared at the red marks on his knuckles. His hand felt numb and would most likely bruise later on. It'd be luck if it wasn't broken. There's a light touch on his shoulder that makes him look back to Dakota. There was a look of worry on her and all he wanted to do was apologize.

"I'm leaving," She mumbles then takes his injured hand, "I'll get you some ice for this before I go."

"Just go," He shakes his head and pulls away his hand, "I can take care of it on my own. Don't make it harder than it's supposed to be."

Dakota sighs, he could become a completely different person when situations turned like this. She didn't want to leave him in the condition he was in because it didn't seem like the safest choice to make. It was too late to take anything back. Kai kept words close to him like promises so when she told him she was leaving then it meant she had to leave.

He kisses her forehead and speaks quietly, "Take all the time you need."

At this, he walks away to the freezer to grab some ice for his hand and leaves her where she is. She pulls herself together, takes one last glance at him, and walks out of the kitchen. He can hear her rummaging through her things before she calls for a cab.

"What am I doing?" Kai speaks quietly to himself and looks at Dakota who stood by the window in the living room.

There are moments in life meant to be admired or appreciated from a distance in silence. A moment of tranquility when looking at something—someone. The light from the setting sun created a glowing outline around all the items within the room. However, the one thing that stood out the most was the angelic figure that shone out brightly to him. The only thing that could keep him sane from all the insanity within his head. He finds himself walking over to the door frame hesitantly and remaining stuck there.

Dakota turns around from looking out the window and meets Kai's gaze. She walks over to him in a few steps but stops a few feet away from him. A silence clouds around them for a few seconds before Kai finds himself tugging Dakota closer to him by the hem of her shirt. She leans in and brushes her lips against his in hesitation to kiss him, but eventually brings them into a passionate kiss. He breaks away for a moment, only then to pick her up and set her on the decorative table. She gasps as the hand he was icing trails up her back causing chills to run through her. Dakota kisses her way to his ear and whispers alluring words. He carries her again making his way up to the bedroom, managing to make it up the stairs with a few stumbles. There's not a single word said between either of them as they both try to settle with their rushing thoughts. As she's laid back onto the bed, Dakota stops and gazes into Kai's eyes with intensity while he searches hers. He moves his head down slowly and starts a captivating, passive kiss. Dakota returns it with a few lip bites and closes the small space left between them. He leaves kisses and light bites along her neck until stopping at her collarbone where he starts to ease her shirt up. She sits up slightly to take it off before taking his off as well, her hands running down his abdomen until they found the start of his jeans. Kai glances at Dakota with questioning and she dismisses it, wanting nothing more than to get lost in him.

They were lost in their own worlds until their different worlds combined into a perfect place. The night was lost to getting tangled up in the sheets while the next morning was spent with gazes, quiet laughter, and short conversations.

He left her near the afternoon without telling her anything as he headed out to the treatment building he was placed in at one point. He'd do anything for her, but he wasn't one to say goodbye so he wouldn't let any information out on where he went. It would've helped him focus better as well and not be distracted. She'd be left with nothing until he was fully recovered from his syndrome.

Dakota knew the moment she woke up, she'd wake up alone. She understood he didn't have it in him to tell her goodbye for now. He left her with a short note explaining she didn't have to wait around for him. The treatment may take years until he's fully recovered. She packed some clothes that day and booked a flight to Bellevue, Washington.

Dakota would wait for him as long as she needed to.