Chapter 1~ Poison

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"Ok let's get food and get out, hm," Deidara said walking with his Danna through the market. They weren't wearing their cloaks as to not stick out and draw attention. Pein had ordered them to get food so they didn't have to eat Kisame' food anymore. Sasori didn't say anything.

"Apples! fresh apples!" A man behind a vender yelled. Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Who wants dumb apples, hm?" Deidara huffed.

"Poisons, fortunes, magic," A women said. Deidara's eyes lit up.

"Danna, pleaseeeeeeeee, hm!" He begged and Sasori rolled his eyes giving the blonde 7000 zeni. He opened the curtain to see a skinny lady waiting at a table for him.

"Ah, hello, what would you like?" Deidara had to think.

"My palm read, hm," he said happily. The women nodded and he held out his right hand. She looked scared at first but then she composed herself and closed her eyes.

"When you turn 20 you will get super drunk and tell your Danna a secret, then when you're 21 you will become a father, at the age of 22 you will blow yourself up," The women said and Deidara gave her a sad look.

"Nothing good, hm?" She smiled and looked deeper.

"You will be very hairy soon," Deidara ripped his hand away and jumped out of his seat.

"Ok, I'm done, let me look around, hm" he said and the lady nodded. He found a vile that he couldn't read but it smelled good. What could go wrong?

"I want this, hm!" He said and she nodded.

"6000 zeni," Deidara held out the money as she held out a plasic bag.

"Thanks, hm," He said as he left.

"No thank you," she said and smirked at the money waving it across her face.

"Danna look, hm," Deidara yelled running.

"Come on brat," Sasori said and Deidara followed jumping for joy. They made it to the hideout in about an hour with the bags.

"About F*****g time!" Hidan yelled as they got to the kitchen and put the food away.

"Shut up, Hidan," Kisame said.

"Make me f*****g fishman," Hidan said getting in his face.

"Hey you guys knock it off, hm," Deidara said.

"Can we eat now?" Zetsu asked. He was about to start eating these idiots.

"Deidara, since you're the closest thing to a women in this place, make us something to eat!" Pein yelled and Deidara nodded. He took out a fish and some french fries.

"Sweet fish!" Kisame yelled and the rest of the group looked at him.

"Hey what about me?" Konan yelled hitting Pein across his face.

"Well yeah but you can't cook, do you remember last time you decided to cook," They all remember that day cause the hideout burned down.


"So hungry, hm," Deidara complained.

"I'll make something," Konan offered and the guys jumped for joy. Konan smiled and went into the kitchen. She got a pot and filled it with water. Letting it over boil. Then she put in french fries and put the timer on for 4 hours. The base caught fire when the stove exploded in her face.


"Um, emo boy did it," Konan said pointing to Itachi.

End of Flashback

"Never again," Kisame yelled remembering the smell of his flesh burning and Zetsu attacking him for hours.

"Whatever," Konan said walking away. About thirty minutes later the Akatsuki were sitting at the table stuffing their faces with food. Well all but Sasori, ya know, puppet.

"I'm glad you like it, hm," Deidara said smiling, "let me make you guys something to drink, hm" He said getting up and getting his vile. He made ice tea with his poison and poured each Akatsuki member a glass.

"This stuff if f*****g good," Hidan said drinking his cup.

"Please Sasori no Danna, hm, just a little sip is all I ask, hm," Deidara begged Sasori who refused to drink the ice tea.

"If it will make you shut up," He said and took a swing of it. It wasn't bad, it tasted like candy.

"Ew Zetsu go, Meow..." Hidan cut himself off. Did he just 'meow'.

"Hidan are you, Meow..." Kakuzu asked before he too meowed.

"What's going Meow...." Pein cried before he meowed.

"Hey where's meow.." Kisame started to ask before he meowed. Itachi was sitting on the table licking his arm. They all started to freak out and instead of words it came out in cute meows. Then they changed into kittens and disappeared.

"Come on Amanda, I swear I heard something," A young girl said. Her friend nodded looking around the deep forest for anything. Hey it was super dark outside.


"See!" She said.

"Meow!" They saw 10 kittens walking around.

"Awe they are adorable, Gia" Amanda said.

"We should take them since they don't have a home," Amanda suggested.

"Good idea," They each carried five cats back to Gia's house. The cat with all silver fur gave Amanda problems but, after some threats the cat was fine. They walked inside and into a large living room. Setting them down they saw them all freaking out.

"Its ok," Amanda said petting the cat with dark blue fur.

"Its naming time!" Gia yelled and the cats looked even more worried.

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