Marching Band Quotes

#184

Things I've heard in the band hallway:

-"Papa pato, the pond has frozen over. The ducklings are dead."
-"It's winter, the water is boiling. The ducklings are insane."

"If I hear one more rifle hit the ground I'm going to spare them the time it takes for them to brake it, and brake it over their heads instead."

"That toss was very majestic. up until... you know... it hit the ground."

"I want the sound to hit me like a brick. But not a sharp brick, I don't want to die. How about a round brick? Oh! A rock! Just hit me with a rock."

"It was like someone poured honey in a gas tank."

"DING"

"Okay but I feel like kindergarteners aren't shooting up herione."

"Why is my clementine leaking?"

"...this would be a good time to throw my tuba across the room."

"I'm personally offended that you think my cat is fat."

"Mya you're fudgalicious"

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little trombone too"

-"Oh crap, I'm screwed"
-"It's okay, I'm screwed too. Or if you'd prefer, I'd screw you. But that's a discussion for a different day."

"DOUCHE SQUAD"

"Do me."

"I missed district band by two places. Time for a double homicide."

"It's like an acrobatic airstream of nothingness"

"Chairs and stands and small animals go flying"

"Go back to p as in pneumonia"

"It's like people are running back from New Jersey back there, what's going on?!"

*middle of rehearsal, the whip cracks from the drum room followed by 5 simultaneous-*
"OW"

"I would stab you with my sabre but I feel that it would tarnish it's beauty"

"I'm not saying I have a dog kink, I'm saying that I have a doggy kink"

"...daddy?"

-"I need you to take my shirt off for me"
-"Is it strange that that's one of the more normal things someone has asked me in this hallway?"

-"I like your shoes"
-"Oh, thanks, I got them at-"
-"Wanna fuck?"