Inferno

Chapter 12: Regrets (Part 2)

"You won't tell anyone, right?"

"Honey, why would I do that? Though I don't particularly agree with what you're doing, it's also not my business to interfere. I'm Mary, by the way."

"Crystal." I say, extending my hand and shaking hers. Last time I was here Tobias was with me so I didn't have a lot of time to make small talk with her. Though I do remember her complimenting me even though I had a cut on my face. She's nice.

She sits on the edge of the bed and pats my leg. "I know this may be hard for you right now, but I just want to let you know that I don't think what you're doing right now is the right choice."

"But I can't handle all of this. If Eric and I were a thing, then my head would explode and you'd be cleaning it off the walls. I just need to focus on passing initiation right now."

She nods. "I get what you're saying, but it could've been approached in a different way. Though I know most people might not see it, but Eric is a good man. And I know he cares about you."

"Mary..." I start, not wanting to deal with this right now. Especially considering what just happened.

"The way he carried you in here when you passed out, and when you were attacked... I've never seen him like that with anyone else before. It's like he was a completely different person."

I put my head in my hands. This is too much. When I speak my voice sounds weird, like I was crying. Which you know, I had been. "Am I free to go?"

She pats my leg once again and nods her head. "Just nothing too strenuous. Part two of initiation starts tomorrow. Take it easy until then."

"Thank you Mary, for everything." I say and then exit the room.

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The rest of the day is pretty sober. I go back to the dormitories and lay on my bed, eventually falling asleep. When I awake it's the middle of the night and Will is holding Christina while she cries. I pretend I'm asleep. And from the way she's laying, I know Tris is pretending as well.

Eventually I do fall back asleep, though I don't get much. I toss and turn all night, my dreams plagued with visions of Al. Needless to say that when I look at my face in the mirror in the morning, I don't look very good.

Tobias is the one who wakes us up. He doesn't look at me and I don't look at him. The rest of the initiates and I get dressed before we're herded to a hallway that has one lone door at the end of it. One by one people are called through the door by Tobias, but they don't come back out. The timing between each person varies. Sometimes it's no more than fifteen minutes, and others it's almost half an hour.

"Jackie." Tobias calls, opening the door and holding it for the Dauntless born who steps into the room. The door shuts with a bang, once again causing silence to settle over me and the remaining six initiates.

Tris is here with me, along with Will, Uriah, Peter, Brian, and Luke, the two kids who helped me back at capture the flag.

"I could really go for some cake." Uriah speaks, not looking at anything directly.

"If you keep eating all that cake you'll get fat and have no chance of staying here in Dauntless," Peter sneers at him, sitting up from the wall and leaning towards Uriah.

"If you keep running your mouth I'll punch you and then you'll have no chance of talking ever again. Got it?" Brian snaps back. He must be friends with Uriah. It's hard to not like Uriah.

"Hey, you wanna pick a fight? Go right on ahead. There's only fifteen initiates left; why not make it fourteen?" Peter instigates.

"Shut up, Peter," I say rolling my eyes. "Nobody wants to pick a fight."

"Yeah, I know you don't. You'll just have your boyfriend fight for you anyways. Oh wait, but which one? Four or Eric?" He laughs, clutching his stomach.

I clench my hands into fists. I'm really not in the mood for this. Tris notices my anger and places her hand on my shoulder, calming me down but only a little bit.

"Peter." Tobias calls, breaking me from my glaring contest with Peter. He glances at me with a raised eyebrow, but then his expression quickly becomes neutral again.

Peter stands and walks past me, but not before making sure to kick my foot that I had stretched out. A pain shoots up my ankle, and I swear under my breath at him. I watch as he enters the room and Tobias once again shuts the door.

"I wonder what's going on in there." Luke questions, tapping his chin.

"No one knows. Not even my brother was allowed to tell me what happens. It's a part of the rules." Uriah states.

"That's a stupid rule," Will says. "If we knew then maybe we'd be able to prepare for it."

"That's what's Dauntless about it, though," Tris adds, "Because if we knew then how would they know that we'd be prepared for whatever it is that's going on in there? They're testing us. They want to see how we respond under pressure."

I nod. It makes sense what she said. This must be emotional or mental, whatever it is they're having us do behind that door. A few minutes later and Luke is called. None of us speak the rest of the time we wait. The anticipation of what could possibly be going on clouding any other thought we may possibly have.

Will gets called, then Uriah, then Brian. When it's finally Tris and I we still don't say anything, but we do hold onto each other for support.

"Crystal." Tobias calls, not looking at either of us.

I give Tris a forced smile and stand, walking into the room that Tobias has been held up in for the past two hours. It's not quite what I was expecting.

In the middle of the room is a chair like from the placement tests, which automatically makes me feel uneasy. Next to it is a set of computers and in the corner of the room is another chair, though this one is like the ones in the cafeteria.

"Have a seat," Tobias instructs. I do as he says, leaning my head back slowly against the rest it has set up for me. Tobias turns around with a needle gun in his hand, a small vile of weird looking liquid ready to be injected.

"I'm going to inject you with a serum that simulates the part of your brain that processes fear."

"Great." I say sarcastically.

"It induces a hallucination," he continues, ignoring my remark, "and then transmitters in the serum allow me to see images in your mind."

I swallow. "You're going to see inside my head?"

He pauses. "Mhm." He says, giving me a look that says 'I thought it was self explanatory'.

Well excuse me.

"Lean back," He instructs, pushing lightly on my shoulder. I relax, resting my head between the two sides that lay on the head extension. He places the needle to my neck and I wince as he pushes it into my skin. I feel the serum invade my blood, and let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding when he pulls the needle back out.

"Now you're going to be facing your worst fears, Crystal. Most people have 10 - 15 really bad ones. You have to calm yourself, slow your heart rate and your breathing, and deal with what's in front of you." His voice becomes deeper and lighter in sound, and I feel my eyelids grow heavy. I vaguely feel him place his hand on mine and squeeze.

"Be brave, little sis."