Betrothed To Death

Chapter 21

Once again, the doors of the forbidden Room of Time loomed before me. I had not been in here since Orcus and I had that fight after we went to see Nicholai. I carefully opened the door and made my way towards the back of the room, ignoring everything else, my mind focused only on my goal.

I stood in front of the Mirror of Souls, staring at its glossy black surface.

"Show me my mother," I ordered it. Nothing happened. The surface did not ripple and change as it had done when I had used it in the past, it stayed as it had when I entered, empty.

"Show me my mother," I said in a firmer voice. Again, the mirror showed me nothing. I banged my fist against the cool surface.

"Show me my mother!" I demanded.

"I can show you any soul you wish but those who are tied to you by blood or love are out of your reach," a ghostly voice said from the mirror.

"No!" I shrieked, "Show me my mother! Show me my mother!" I chanted it over and over again, beating on the cold glass until the skin of my hands split and hot blood trickled down my arms. I cried all the tears I thought had dried up and screamed, demanding what the mirror refused me.

Everything I had tried to repress since the funeral broke free and torrents of tears sprang forth, coursing down my cheeks and neck, wetting the front of my gown. I clawed at the dark glass as if to break its restrictions with my bare hands.

My chest ached with the deep pain I had tried to hold back and failed at doing so. Everything I had felt and tried to ignore came back tenfold. I was lost, alone, hurt, angry. I wanted what had been denied me. It wasn't fair. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but tears clogged my throat and stole my voice so I only whimpered as I continued to pound against the mirror, repeating my demand again and again and again as though it would eventually give in.

It was all gone, no more visits, no more talks on the porch with a hot cup of tea, no more snide comments about Orcus for me to reprimand, no more demands for more pictures of her grandchildren. I remembered the dark looming doors of the afterlife and the strange figures that had looked upon me with little empathy. I wanted just one more moment, one more stolen minute to tell her how much I loved her.

I looked up at the now blood smeared mirror, finding that in spite of my pleas and demands the glass showed only the room behind me and my own tortured face.

I finally crumbled to the floor, sobbing.

"You could waste away in front of that mirror wishing for something it will never grant you," came Orcus' voice behind me. "There is a reason you are not shown what you so desperately want. What would it achieve? You would be able to see her and speak with her, yes, but you would not be able to touch her. You would sit in front of that mirror, pining away for what you could never have and eventually drive yourself mad. I gave you what I could when I took you with me. It is more than most get." He came over and took me in his arms, kissing my bloodied hands.

"I can't..." I wailed, twisting my hands in his shirt, not caring that I was staining the white fabric with my blood.

"You must," he soothed. I collapsed in his arms, sobbing into his shirt, seeking comfort from him in a way I had not since he had taken me to that dark hospital room to say goodbye.

~*~

I awoke the next morning to find that Orcus had bathed me and dressed me in my nightgown. He lay next to me, watching me carefully. I looked at him with watery eyes and flung myself back into his arms.

"I'm sorry," I cried.

"Do not be," he said softly. I leaned against him, letting him pet my hair and press kisses against the top of my head.