a c i d.

{11}

{2 months pass, Hazel}

I stayed inside with Chris all night tonight. Lately, I've done nothing but go to work, maybe hang with Sasha for a few ladies' nights, work my part time, and come home to him and him only. For fear of noticeable withdraws, I began using up my stash, popping only when with Sasha or when Chris or I was out of town. I promised myself to go to great lengths to avoid Rakim, not wanting to encounter him until I needed a fix once my supply ran out. Not to mention my other fix...which was taken care of at either Chris's expense or my own hands. Never pleasant, but anything to keep myself away from him. I wasn't t completely over the situation yet, though I did stop thinking about it all night long.

We were on the couch, cuddling and watching a movie when his phone rang. He looked over at the screen, seeing the name before handing it to me. "Answer this for me?" He asked and I nodded, looking down to see it was Ray. "Chris's phone." I answered nonchalantly. "Hazel?" She asked, something off about her tone. "Yeah, it's me. Hi Rayna." I said. "Everything cool?" I asked and she sighed. "Uh, yeah. You with Chris, right?" She asked and I nodded, as if she could see me do so. "Mhm." "Is Ty there? Or y'all at the crib?" I sat up straighter, pausing the movie against his protests. "Nah, he hasn't been here all day. Why, wassup?" I answered and she hesitated a moment. "I found something for him but he's not home right now, I figured he was with Chris or something.." She murmured and I huffed, thinking of places he always goes to. "You want me to ask Chris to hit him up or something?" I furrowed my brows. "No, I'll just wait for him. Thanks though Haze." I nodded again and hung up.

"What was that about?" He rose an eyebrow and I shrugged, handing him the phone. "Call Ty, Ray was looking for him." I told him simply as I got up, excusing myself upstairs to the bathroom. I went into my room, opening up the closet and pulling out a small case. I opened it to find it empty. I silently cursed at this, putting it back where it was before going back in the room, feeling under the mattress for a small key. I pulled it out, unlocking the last drawer on my nightstand to find that empty too. A lump of realization caught in my throat. I was out of both supplies, and I had to see him sooner than expected. I gained the energy to throw on a random pair of Jordan's along with a tiny coat, stuffing a wad of cash into my pocket before unplugging my phone and heading downstairs. "I was looking through my bag and I forgot my portfolio at the agency." I lied, grabbing my car keys off the counter. "It's 9 though, right?" He asked, leaning his head up towards me for a kiss. "Babe, it closes at 11. I'll be back, I might even go for a little drive." I answered, pecking his lips softly before heading out.

I decided on a shortcut to make this trip as short as possible and not even bothering buzzing in with the guards. I didn't want him to know beforehand that I came by, let alone why. I took the elevator down to the garage first, checking to see that his car was the only one parked, meaning he was alone. "Probably with a hoe." I whispered to myself before going up to his floor, knocking on the door quietly once I reached it. Surprisingly, it didn't take him very long to answer, meaning he was actually alone and I was royally fucked. We said nothing at first, and he turned to close the door on me until I pulled the money out of my pocket. "I'm not here to stay." I told him quietly and he snatched it from me, not bothering to count it before letting me inside. "The usual..?" He asked, motioning for me to sit and I nodded. For the few minutes he took to get my shit together, I watched him silently, pushing back any words I thought of saying to him.

"Here." He threw me my supply and I thanked him. "You're up here alone, that's a first.." I mumbled and he stared at me. "I thought you said you wasn't staying here." He said blankly and I shook my head, picking up the dime bag full of coke. "I meant the night, but I can go if I'm causing a problem for you." I said quickly, putting everything in my pocket and standing up. He only shrugged. "I don't really give a fuck. Besides, you ain't shown yourself in months, you ain't bothering me yet." He snapped and I looked past him. "Can I snort a line here then? He's home." I asked and he laughed to himself, leaving the room to grab a beer. I took a seat where I was before, pulling the bag out and shaking a little bit on my hand. He came back in the room, handing me one. "If you doin' it that way then you should be able to do that shit while he's home." He spoke, leaning against the wall and taking a sip. "I don't do anything around him." I said, bringing the hand up and snorting the powder into my nose, leaning my head up and pinching my nose.

"Because you spend all your time doing it around me?" He asked and laughed again. "Stupid." I sat up straight again, grabbing the beer hesitantly and drinking some. "Why do you do the shit you do?" He asked after a while and I shrugged, feeling my tolerance building up. "Because I don't like hurting people." I answered quietly. "So you decide it's best to run off, have some guy fall for you, lead him on with lies while coming back to me, for unknown reasons." He nodded. "Seems like a good reason. Except you're hurting him by making him clueless." He kept drinking and I suddenly realized it was in my best intentions to put the bottle down. I knew exactly what point he was getting at. "Then I can ask you, why do you let me? Why haven't you stopped me yet, or at least keep it business?" I asked him and he merely shrugged, finishing off his. "Well, for one, I get money off you. And two, I shouldn't have to stop you. You should have enough sense in your head to stop yourself." He pulled up a chair and sat down. "Nothing personal is in it for me." "You're lying." "And why does it matter to you if I am?" He leaned back. "You're more worried about me than I am about you. It's personal to you. I get money, a nut bust, and a conversation from you."

I thought about it. Why should it matter? I knew solely that he didn't care for me. But I still had it out for him, knowing he would be first to throw me under a bus when the time came. "So why haven't you exposed me?" I asked again. "I'm waiting for you to do it yourself." I looked down. And he looked at me, for a while, before shaking his head.

"What do you want me to do?"