If Only He Knew (Tronnor Au)

chapter 1

10:34pm

That's the time my phone read as I glared at the screen. To say I was bored was the understatement of the century. I'd watched a documentary on the development of fashion in history, which was more fascinating than I expected it to be when I settled for the documentary. I had also finished some geometry homework that Mr.Lester had assigned over the weekend. I even took some selfies when the boredom hit it's peak. I was showing off my brand new grey beanie I recently bought. Looking through them, I'm now aware of how messy my brown hair was and noticed the slight wave it had before I put the beanie on halfway through the low quality selfie shoot. Suddenly my phone vibrated in my hand notifying me I had a text message. I exited the camera roll to see a text from my best friend, and crush, Troye.

Troye and I have known each other since we were 6 years old. He moved here to Los Angeles, California from Perth, Australia. I had recently made the move to LA a year before him from Minnesota. I still remember the bitter winters although I was only 5, which made me even more grateful for the warm weather we have here. Troye had joined my class and was assigned the only empty seat saved for the unfortunate soul that would ever transfer to our class and be forced to sit next to me. That unfortunate soul just so happened to be Troye Mellet, or better known now as Troye Sivan. We didn't get along at first, which was my fault. He wanted to share my fruit snacks because he wasn't aware he had to bring a snack and I, being the stingy and selfish person who still never shares to this day, refused. The teacher made quite a fuss over our disagreement but in the end I won that battle, no one takes my fruit snacks. He ignored me as much as possible after that, which didn't sit well with me. I wanted to have his attention for some reason, then again I always wanted everyone's attention at that age. Oh, how that trait about me has changed since then. I couldn't bare the thought of someone not liking me to the point of full out ignoring me, so I offered to share my comic book with him one day during reading time. He must have knew I never shared anything, much less with someone I've just met, I'm assuming he respected me a bit more after that. The rest is history.

I began reading Troye's text message. It read "What are you doing right now?" I sighed knowing why he's asking me this question. "Absolutely nothing." I replied to my Aussie friend. "Good." was all I received as a reply. Within seven short minutes, I saw a mop of curly brown hair peaking from the bottom of my bedroom window. I knew Troye was right outside, yet I still waited for the four mandatory knocks he makes on my window signaling it's him and to open the window for him. Once I heard the knocks on my window I hopped off my bed and grabbed the step stool out of my closet and opened the window. I handed Troye the stool so he could reach the ledge and successfully climb through the window. We have a system after doing this for so long. Once he snuck through, not so gracefully I may add despite all the practice, he took a seat on the floor beside the edge of my bed. Why he didn't sit in my desk chair was beyond me. "Hey, Con." He said with a smile. That's one thing to admire about Troye, he's always smiling and always seems happy. Thats not always the case though.

"Hey, Tro. What brings you to my bedroom on such short notice?" I asked casually. "Try rewording that better next time." He said while laughing. He continued by saying "Uh, I was just taking a walk aro-" I interrupted "A walk? You only take walks when you're stressed about something. Whats up?" He broke eye contact and lowered his head, almost like a dog when it's ashamed. "Its uh, my parents." He replied softly. I wanted to pull at my hair at this realization. "Again? What happened this time?" I asked him. Troye's parents haven't had the best relationship as of recently. I can tell it's taking it's toll on Troye, the entire family, really. He looks up to his parents quite a lot. He used to say "Someday I hope someone loves me as much as my parents love each other. What they have will last forever." I just expected "forever" to last, well, forever... and so did Troye. "My dad lost his job, he got...starts with an L..." knowing the word that was on the tip of Troye's tongue, I interrupted and said "laid-off" He snapped his fingers at the rememberance of the word and said "Yeah, laid-off. My mum isn't too happy, she doesn't think we'll have enough money. She told him to find a new job ASAP but that's easier said than done, ya know?"

I felt bad, I really did. Troye's family was like my second family. They came over for game night, we had dinner's together at least three times a month, all of the siblings grew up with one another. I loved his family almost as much as my own. It hurt me knowing the trouble's they were now facing. Troye suddenly blurted out "The worst part is, he did nothing wrong to lose his job. They fired him along with 103 other people who were probably all decent at their jobs, all because the company needed more money. No one deserves this shit." He was obviously upset, and rightfully so. At this point his eyes were filled with tears ready to fall any second, which took me by surprise. The only other time I've witnessed Troye cry was when he came out to me last year, right after his 16th birthday. I accepted him and told him it didn't change anything, although it certainly did. My crush that seemed hopeless, suddenly wasn't impossible anymore.

Its obvious that his families problems are wearing down on him if he's allowing himself to be this vulnerable. Troye is never vulnerable, that's why he's always smiling and keeping his head up so others won't see him down. He doesn't want to seem weak. "Hey, Troye... it'll be okay soon. I promise." I tried to reassure him as best as I could. He paused his action of playing with his shoe strings and jumped up from my floor alarmingly fast and started speaking, quite loudly I may add "What if it won't be okay, Connor? What do I do then? How soon is soon?" He stepped away a couple inches and wrapped his arms around himself and whispered "What if they get divorced?" I think this is Troye's biggest fear. He loves the idea of falling in love with a perfect boy, getting married and raising a perfect family, basically to have what his parents have, or had. He'll assume love doesn't last forever if it didn't for his parents. They've always seemed to keep it together and have eyes only for each other, even after all these years. I took my chance hugging my friend and walked over to the mess of a boy standing in front of me drying wet tears off his cheeks. I wrapped my arms around him and said "We'll figure this out, Tro. They're not going to get a divorce. They love each other even if it's not apparent right now." My sad attempt at trying to reassure him seemed to put him at ease some how. He relaxed and let his arms fall from my shoulders and slowly stepped away. He sighed and asked "Can we just chill in here for a while? I don't feel like going home." I looked at the time on my clock that read 11:17pm and nodded my head and replied "of course, Tro." Troye nodded acknowledging my reply. He sat down on the edge of my bed and suddenly shouted "If you tell anyone I cried, I'm definitely not setting you up on that date with Joe's sister, Zoe" I laughed and said "Trust me, if that's what's on the line, God himself will never hear of it." If only he knew.