Some nights I can hear him crying.. Breathing heavily, silent sobs, sniffing an occasional whimper... Every time it happens I slowly sneak out of my room over to the threshold of his room. I sit there, at the door and I don't leave until he stopped. The waiting never bothers me, I just don't have the guts to knock, I don' t have the guts to ask if he's alright. Oh how I wish I did...
Tonight was one of those nights. It was harder the usual. I crept out of my dark room taking but a few steps towards his, then it happened.
I tripped. Flat on my face, not even gracefully like you see in films. No just tripped over my own feet. Christ.. I am no where near subtile. The crying stopped I could hear Phil shifting in his room. His doorknob turned. And there I was in all my glory for him to see.
He looked tired and stiff. His glasses hung from his nose, eyed hidden but you could tell they were puffy from behind his fringe.
"D-Dan?" His voice cracked and sounded shaky.
"Hmm..." Is all I managed to say.
"Are you alright Dan?"
"I'm fine.." I spoke softly, pushing myself off the floor. "But are you?" I added.
"Y-yeah I'm fine" he spoke as if he just relised the state he was in.
"You aren't." I decide to confront him. "You've been crying at night for the last few weeks.. I'm worried about you Phil."
"Dan, there no need to worry about me.. I-I'm fine on my own." His voice cracked again at the last few words. I could see the glimmer of a tear running down his cheek from the little light illuminating the hallway. I stepped closer. Rubbing the tear away with my thumb. We haven't had much physical interaction. A high five here, a hug there even a gentle hand squeeze when I was having a hard time with some exam work. Every time we touch. He's skin isn't warm.
"Phil... You aren't okay." I retort. "Please tell me whats wrong?" I say softer and less sharp then before.
"I- I can't..." He turns is head and wipes away a few stray tears.
It takes all my strength but I hug him, wrapping my arms around his torso.
"I wont force you, but if you need me. I'll always be here for you." My face was turning red. Before I could let go, Phil had wrapped his arms around me burying his face in my neck. "Thank you" he mumbled against my skin. "You are always so warm... How do you do it?" He asks still hugging me.
"I don't know." I answer.
"Dan...?"
"yeah?.."
"Could I sleep in bed with you... It might help me stop feeling so horrible.. If not I totally understand.. "
"I uhh... Yeah... Its fine.. Just come in when ever..." I move my arms away. He lets go an looks at me.
"You are the best-est friend Dan." He smiled... How I love that smile.
But the words friend stick in my head. I smile back.
"You coming to bed or what?" I joke.
He nods and follows me into my room.
YOU ARE READING
It' Not Over Yet. ( Phan)
Fanfiction"I'm giving this my all, and you don't seem to understand that the way things are, are Killing me. It's like you're blind to my suffering. Since your eyes met mine. I knew. I just knew you had you had to be mine. But you are making it harder than it...
