Willa & the Extraordinary Internship

CH. 25

Somehow, with her eyes swollen and red from crying, she managed to make it to Nate's apartment without her trembling shoulders rattling the steering wheel. She barely knew him, and yet, right now, he was the only person Willa wanted to be around.

As soon as she knocked on the door, it swung open. He must have recently woken up, because he was wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms and a soft gray Henley. His hair was tousled from sleep and automatically, Nate's hand moved to his hair in a half-hearted attempt to smooth down the locks sticking up at peculiar angles.

"Willa," he said in surprise, his voice still rough from sleep. "What's going on?" He peered into the hallway like he expected someone else to be there, glancing left and right. "What's wrong?"

"I just...I had to see you."

Nate stared at her like he was still trying to puzzle out what she was doing on his doorstep, uninvited. Finally, he returned to his senses. "Come in," he said, holding the door open for her.

"Thanks." She slipped inside, immediately comforted by the fact that she was at his apartment. "I'm sorry to just drop by."

"No, it's okay." Nate stood in front of her, his hand reaching out to touch her shoulder. "You've been crying," he stated flatly, pinching his lips together. "I'm so sorry. I'll...well, I don't know what I can do, really. But Willa, I'm so sorry that I made you lose your job."

Laughter bubbled in her throat and she shook her head, sending her hair flying every which way. "It's not about that. It's about..." she trailed off, biting her lower lip.

"You can't say?" Nate gauged her face slowly, then nodded. "Then I won't ask." He sat down on the couch, this time cat-free, and patted the seat next to him.

Willa gratefully sank into the couch and went into his willing embrace. His arm encircled her and rubbed soothing circles on her back. His unwavering support threatened to send her into a fresh wave of tears, but her eyes were too bone-dry to summon forth another drop of moisture. "How do you know if you're making the right choice?" she asked into his shirt, inhaling the scent of him. Deodorant and the faintest whiff of laundry softener. Lavender, maybe.

Nate was silent so long that Willa thought he hadn't heard her. "Make the decision that hurts the least amount of people possible," he said finally. "Do no harm."

"That's the Hippocratic Oath," Willa smiled against his shirt, pulling her face away to look at him. "And it's for doctors."

"Yeah," Nate shrugged. "But it's a good motto to live by."

"Yeah," Willa echoed.

They stayed there together for a long time. Time ceased to have any meaning, just being there with him was enough. Willa slid her hand over his, letting her fingers fill the spaces between his. "This is nice," she whispered.

Nate didn't say respond, just studied their joined hands. He shifted to face Willa, pulling his hand into his lap. "Are we going to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever it is that we're not talking about."

He was so astute that it caught Willa unawares. She could only stare at him, the words sticking in her throat. She couldn't articulate everything she was feeling. It was like everything and nothing at the same time. She loved her friend, she missed her friend. She didn't want to talk about it. She liked Nate, she trusted Nate. She just didn't trust him enough. "I'm sorry," she mumbled finally. "I guess I just...I don't even know. I just had this idea that coming here would make everything make sense again."

"And has it?" he asked curiously.

She couldn't look him in the eyes as she answered. "Honestly, I feel more lost than I did before."

"Do you want some tea?" Nate asked.

"I'm not really a big fan of tea," Willa finally admitted. "It's great on those cozy winter days when I'm in the mood for tea, but generally...not so much?"

"You didn't say," Nate said, looking confused. "If you didn't want tea last time, why didn't you say?"

"Because that's what you offered?" Willa chewed her bottom lip. "Nate, it's not a big deal. I'll have whatever."

"Okay," Nate said doubtfully. "Well, um, I haven't eaten yet, so do you want to stay for breakfast?" He was already getting up and moving towards the kitchen, a question in his eyes.

Even though she'd already had brunch, Willa nodded. Whatever she'd nibbled on with Maryam had evaporated in her stomach. "Sure. I'd like that." As she got up to follow Nate to the kitchen, her phone buzzed. She glanced at it, heart spasming painfully when she saw Maryam's name on the screen.

Please talk to me.

Willa closed her eyes. She had meant it when she had told Maryam that they weren't friends anymore. Maybe they hadn't been for a long time. Maybe Cyn had taken Maryam and made her hers that first day when she had stolen much more than just Willa's seat.

Willa, I'm still your best friend.

Yes, Maryam considered herself Willa's best friend, but was Willa hers? She wished Maryam hadn't texted her. It was the worst kind of cruelty, feeling like there could still be hope. Willa was feeling too bruised and raw to reply. Maybe she wouldn't reply at all.

She had thought she was all out of tears, but she had been wrong. When Willa opened her eyes, hot tears leaked out, dripping onto her nose and then falling on her upper lip.

"Willa, you coming?" Nate called out. "I found these chocolate chips...we could make the ooeyest, gooeyest choco-chip pancakes this world has ever seen."

"Coming!" she answered, pocketing her phone. "And I'll show you a trick for getting them nice and fluffy." She rounded the corner of the hallway and wrapped her arms around his middle, pressing her cheek against the softness of his Henley. "Thanks for being so nice to me."

"Affectionate and a good cook," Nate teased. "My girl's quite the package."

Maybe he hadn't meant to let it slip out but Willa immediately latched onto the words "my girl". Was she his girl? Did she want to be? Too many questions to answer on an empty stomach, she decided. Ignoring the prime opportunity she'd been handed to label their relationship, she poked his tummy teasingly. "Hey, it's the twenty-first century. You could value me for more than domestic abilities."

"Fine, fine," Nate drawled, laughter in his voice. "You're also not bad as a thief."

He was referring to the binder they'd stolen from Paige, not Cyn, but the words still startled Willa. She forced a smile even though he couldn't see it. "Damn straight," she said woodenly, trying to keep up the teasing banter she'd initiated.

"Think we could be a modern day Bonnie and Clyde?" he continued, oblivious to Willa's inner turmoil.

She released him from her backwards hug and laughed. "Right now let's just concentrate on finding Mrs. Butterworth," she joked, opening a cabinet at random to diffuse her sudden tension. "Your girl needs to be fed and watered."

"Aye, aye," Nate grinned, pretending to doff his cap.

As she watched him, a natural in the kitchen, a sense of soothing warmth settled over Willa. He was the best thing to happen to her, even if they'd met in less than ideal circumstances. Even if they weren't forever, it was right for right now.

Author's Note: As of today, this story has been featured under ChickLit! Thank you all so much for reading and supporting this story. I appreciate it more than words can say. <3 

Don't forget to let me know what you thought of this chapter! I admit, this post-Maryam moment feels a little bittersweet...what do you guys think about Willa and her most recent actions?