CH. 29

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When Willa opened her eyes the next morning into the blinding rays of sun peeping through Nate's blinds, she momentarily forgot where she was. For a split-second, she stiffened. His chest was flush against her back, keeping her pleasantly warm even as her legs had partially kicked off the sheets to keep cool. His arm was draped over her hip; she could count each and every single strand of his arm hair.

A smile twitched her lips and she wiggled slightly against him. She felt his laugh before she heard it. Nate's chest rumbled and she felt his stomach muscles contract against her spine. It was intimate beyond words; for a writer, she suddenly had no words to describe how happy she was, how at peace.

"What are you thinking about?" his voice rumbled, low.

"Nothing." She played with his fingers.

"I can feel you thinking," he countered.

Willa buried her face in his pillow to hide her smile. "Are you saying that I drove your senses so wild that you're actually capable of reading my mind?"

Nate lightly touched her shoulder. "Don't deflect."

The smile faded from Willa's face and she sat up, taking the sheet with her. He barely knew her and yet he knew that she was deep in thought. "I was just thinking about how things have changed for us both."

He was silent, gazing at her with undivided attention which prompted her to continue.

"I don't know if I should take Jackie's offer," she admitted, drawing her knees up to her chin. It was the first time she had said it out loud. Self-doubt had been sinking into her pores ever since she'd spoken to her parents. Was this the right way to publish her first book? Would this be the battle line that would make it impossible to ever go back to her friends? Did she even want to?

"Why wouldn't you?" He looked bewildered.

"I don't really feel like I earned it."

Nate propped himself up on his elbow. "What do you mean?"

"I guess...I thought my friends would have been happier for me when I finished my story, you know? I thought that's what friends were there for, to support you and be happy for you." She chewed her bottom lip. "One of my friends, Cynthia, she feels a little used."

"I don't follow." Nate's expression was pensive. "Why wouldn't she be happy for you?"

"She didn't like the portrayal of one of the characters."

"You can't please everyone." Nate flopped back onto the bed, stretching his arms out before interlocking them behind his head. "You have to write for you, not for them."

"My friends expect me to listen to them." That was their relationship in a nutshell. Cyn said date Luke, and Willa dated Luke. Willa wasn't sure whether she wanted to stick it out, but Cyn insisted Luke was a good fit for her, so Willa listened. Maryam said tell Cyn about the book before Willa was ready and like some sort of idiot, Willa had gone along with it.

"They always expect to get their way," Willa realized out loud.

"They suck," Nate said, his eyes closed.

Her eyes flashed to him. Normally she would chew out anyone who dared to speak against them, but instead, she felt a great, big, bubbling laugh in her chest. Was this what being happy felt like?

"Is that why you don't mention them?" Nate wondered curiously, opening his eyes to look at her.

"Pretty much." She lay down next to him, snuggling into his side when he gestured for her to move closer. "Are your friends happy for you?"

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