Changes Happen, but I don't have to like it

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Today is the day that I become part of a new family.

My mom met the love of her life. Her job. The only thing that brings her happiness.

My dad died when I was 7 1/2. She was strong for me as I cried day in and night out. I couldnt understand why someone like my dad could die.

It's been 9 years, 3 months, and 18 days. I have learned to store that part of my life in a journal. Courtesy of suggestions by my therapist. It's not some releasing experience that made me feel like the world jumped off my shoulders. In fact it made me feel worse. 

I continued to torture myself every day and I couldn't uderstand why the only father I ever knew had to leave me. I hated him, I hated me, i hated my mother, I hated everything. I couldn't breathe whenever I thought about it. I would cry whenever I heard his name and I found comfort in only his picture in which I could pretend that he was still with me and on his way home to greet us just like he had every day before.

And what killed me the most was how I -we found out.  Mom had come and picked me up from school and we went for ice cream. I had gotten an A on my speling test and mom was so proud. i had wanted dad to come with us but his Firm kept him working late some hours, so i had to let it go. We had gone to Cold Stone Creamery.  We got home and as usual my mom turned on the news. weather, and Breaking news. This time, I heard a name on there I'd never thought I'd hear. "12:15 today, popular businessman Roy Carlson died of mysterious causes in his office building today.."  everything went still and i think my mom and i simultaneously fainted. Me from emotion overload and her from pure shock.

We recovered moments later, the story no longer present in our minds but remnants of a traumatic event lacing our memory.

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Sorry for the shortness but, it's kind of old and i'm trying it on for size.