Typical South Park One Shots and Readers ATTENTIONClosed for Requests

Now You're Speaking My Language (ChristophexFrench reader)

My sister told me to put this song(if you can call it that... I can't stop replay! XD So this christophexfrench reader is dedicated to Miss_Demon_Angel for requesting it. (I love Christophe mainly because I took 3 years of french in school lol)

Christophe didn't believe there were actually more so called sophisticated people moving into South Park, especially when that meant they'd slip into Yardale territory.... He hoped it wasn't true, that meant more smug assholes like Gregory. He couldn't accept that until he met ____. She walked into the classroom with such a defiance air to her that it immediately annoyed him. When he looked at her face she immediately smirked and put her nose in the air. This bitch was definitely a smug asshole like dumb ass Gregory. "Zorry I'm late." His eye immediately twitched as he realized her thick accent. He couldn't believe that Gregory was actually right about the new kids.

"Ha, lame. She's from Britain,huh." The wise crack came from a boy in a red uniform. The boy with black locks and a knowing grin on him looked to Christophe waiting for him to speak. The kid wasn't what you'd call Yardale material. Joey was hardly maintaining the required 3.5 GPA you needed to be allowed to stay at Yardale. Christophe was sure he wasn't even passing half of his classes, but damn were his parents rich.  He shot Joey his best glare and muttered under his breath.

"Shut up, beetch. We both know she's french."  Joey smiled gave him his widest cheesiest smile and nodded then finally went back to work.

Christophe learned quick that he hated this new girl. She was indeed a smart ass. Whatever question (rhetorical or not) the teacher asked her hand shot up within seconds. Even math, something Christophe reigned over Gregory at ____ took it from him.  She finished the homework assignment that the teacher had given them in class in a mere five minutes and Christophe was just staring at the paper still trying to figure out how to find the focus to a parabola. 

Now that school was over Christophe was in the darkness of South Park. He was glad for the alone time especially from ____. He didn't like her that much. Why the hell was he even thinking of her right now? He had a job to do, even if it was a damn school night and he had about three tests tomorrow. Today he had to beat the hell out of a dumb ass who tried to frame him and Gregory with drugs. Cody had planted drugs(a lot of it about one pound of hardcore meth), that didn't even belong to him into Christophe's pockets if Christophe hadn't fallen into that lake who knows when he would've found that meth, he could've walked into school with it or a cop on patrol could stop and search them just to find the drugs. Christophe was beyond pissed not only did Cody try and get them jailed, he also wasted good meth (of course Christophe and Gregory didn't use but damn could they have made some big bucks with that much), Gregory was pissed too not only did he want Christophe to make a point by jumping Cody but another client, a drug manufacturer who Cody had stole from to frame them wanted the kid pissed scared for stealing his drugs. Initially he wanted Cody dead but of course Christophe only did that for a pretty price and the idiot wasn't paying him nearly enough for that so all he could do to the poor kid was scare him and beat the shit out of him. Christophe got his shovel ready when he got into South Park territory, Cody lived just outside of SodaSoPa.

The shovel was off of his back now, Christophe's nerves were killing him, no way did Cody, not know that he was coming. He stopped in a dark alley to try and settle his nerves, he needed to find Cody before Cody found him, who knew what kind of weapon a scared kid involved with the drug cartel would have. He let a heavy breath leave him and it was like sending a cue signal.

A shadow as fast as lightning raced towards him. In the darkness  of South Park where only passing by cars lit the streets and the occasional street light all Christophe could do was get his shovel ready and  try hard to protect what mattered, his face, and his precious nuggets. The shadow collided against him throwing him off his feet. His back hit the hard cold ground. "Shit, dude you should get out of here." Christophe tried making sense of the voice in the humming of passing by cars chatting townsfolk, insistent annoying whining from Cody, and the hazy state of his mind but he couldn't place it. The shadow that had stricken him stood in the light now. Cody wore a stunned expression as he stared at Christophe... No he wasn't staring at Christophe, he was staring a silhouette standing behind him. Cody's whining got louder, it tugged at the back of Christophe's mind, annoying him annoying him like trying to figure out who had spoken. That voice didn't belong to Cody, the one who told Christophe to leave. No she had said them, _____ what the fuck was she doing here. Christophe stared at her in awe. "I said get the fuck out of here!" Finally after a few seconds he processed her words. He wasn't leaving of course, he needed to know why the girl was here. in South Park in the middle of night.

"Why the hell are you here?"  Her lip twitched and Christophe couldn't help but laugh.

"He's the reason I'm here, idiot! You don't know how dangerous it is for you to be here!" She pointed to Cody who looked ready to scamper like a deer. Christophe shook his head.

"No, you don't understand how dangerous it is for you to be here! I'm supposed to kill that beetch!" _____'s eyes flared.

"NO I'M HERE TO KILL THAT BEETCH! YOU DUMB-"

"You know what ____! Get the fuck out of here! You're only going to ruin my mission!" She jabbed her finger into her chest, there was no stopping the incredibly stupid argument.

"No! You leave! I've been doing this for years! I bet you've never even killed a guy! FUCK OFF!"  Christophe's blood was boiling. He wouldn't let ___ take yet another thing away from him. Being a mercenary relaxed him, it was a title that had no shame and brought in lots of dough. He was so caught up in his rage that he and ____ didn't realize that Cody's annoying whine had gone dead quiet. Christophe gripped his shovel fiercer. He swung at _____ who quickly jumped back causing him to hit a trash can that splat mystery fluid in his face.

"That's it!"He wiped his face and glared at her but then finally realized something. "Fuck." He muttered. ____ turned to see what he was looking at and realized what he was cursing about. Cody was gone.

"Damn it Christophe! You let him get away!" Leo's going to have my ass!" She took the exact words from his mouth. That made him realize something. Leo, the asshole had hired both of them. "Come on, you're coming with me and telling asshole Leo that you ruined my only chance to kill that sonuvabitch!" Before Christophe could protest she grabbed his hand and dragged him out of South Park. Maybe she didn't realize that Leo had hired both of them to do his dirty work, or her anger was shadowing her rationality.

In forty minutes Christophe and ____ were in a cold drafty room with Leo's back towards them, he was in a spinning chair. The vato as Christophe liked to call him was smoking some weed in a bundle when he turned to face them. "Oh they found each other, is it done?" ___ seemed a little surprised at his lack of shock at Christophe's presence and that he was directing the question to both of them. She pushed Christophe forward finally releasing his arm but pushed him so roughly that he fell to his knees.

"This little beetch, made me lose him! Asshole says he knows you." The bulky vato laughed and flung his bundle towards ____ and after it hit her in the face  it fell flat onto the carpet. Christophe winced annoyed at how this asshole treated a fellow mercenary. Just because they were willing to do odd jobs for cash didn't mean that you could treat them like sheet. 

"Of course I know Christophe. I put him on the same job as you. I knew you'd fuck up." ____ winced as if he had just slapped her across the face.

"But-"

"I mean, you're a woman. And let's face it kid, Christophe's more, experienced."  Christophe kept his stoic mask but could see that ___ was losing hers. Anger seemed through her eyes. 

"I only failed because this asshole was in the way!" She said desperately and pointed accusingly at Christophe.

"Doesn't matter, you BOTH failed. Should've known not to entrust kids to do a man's job." He gave a hearty laugh directly in Christophe's face spraying him with spit. Not only was that gross but also deeply offensive. "Right now Larry's on his way to kill Cody. He should be done by now, he's not some lame french half-wit." That finally broke Christophe and it seemed to break ___ too. They both looked to each other, a silent understanding coming over them. They smiled and in unison punched the asshole Leo in the face. He didn't stir awake so the two decided to not leave too many more bruises, that could bite them in the butt later. Still they ransacked his office for anything that was worth money because the two of them were definitely not getting paid, but were definitely not leaving today without at least something.

Finally after leaving the gross musty building and counting about 600 dollars each and some hefty drugs to sell Christophe looked back to ____. He realized for the first time that she was pretty cute even drenched in sweat, and an erratic look in her eye.  She smiled at him and finally he spoke. "What you did in there was stupid. You hurt your customer." She gave a knowing grin, one that said 'you're one to be talking' He decided he liked that smile, it was a simple one. "Want to go get de glace, or something?" 

"Yeah, I can handle ice-cream right now."