We against Myself (Complete)

Chapter 12

I got to the bathroom. Craig. Just stay away long enough to let it happen. I thought to myself. Huh, myself.

I never thought I'd be giving in like I'm doing right now. I'm not giving in to what the other people have done, sure, in a way, Craig is a cause. I all honesty, though, it's all my fault.

If I wasn't so broken, dented, cracked, and chipped, then maybe other people could've liked me. maybe Craig could've loved me. Maybe, I would like me.

But, because like always, I've screwed it up again.

I look at the ceiling, I need to find a good spot to do this.

If I wasn't so weird, spazzy, abnormal, twitchy, worthless, disgusting, waste of space, and unwanted, maybe I could've had a normal life. One where I wouldn't fall in love with Craig, my best friend. One where I would've met a girl, gotten married, and had some kids. Where I would be normal.

How I long for that day.

I find a spot in the ceiling , and set up the rope, putting two pieces of ceiling cover over it to hold it. I work on the important part. I have to get the knot just right. I have to make it tight enough to do the job quick.

The rope is all set up and tied, it took a few minutes, because of my twitching, but it's done.

I pull a piece of paper from my bag and a pencil.

Dear who ever finds this,

I'm sorry. I can't continue to battle with myself, especially, when no one on my side. Everyone's just a by-stander.

It's okay, I deserve it.

I've been through the lobby of Hell, and I can say, that I'd rather die now than try to fight on. Sometimes, you have to know when to give up.

Things that lead up to this, are obvious. The bullying. Everyday. I'd get death threats, people would beat me until I couldn't breathe or stand on my own two feet. Of course I never told anyone, who was there to tell? My parents, they'd show up to my funeral late just to day how disappointed they are. They'd probably call me a coward. I am a coward.

People everyday would push me around, sure, but there's always something worse.

I happened to idiotically fall in love with my best friend. Craig Tucker. I'm sorry if knowing my feelings disgusted you, or made you uncomfortable. I can't blame you. I knew from the start you didn't love me. I knew you'd reject me.

Yet, on some miracle, I was hoping, praying, begging, that you'd love me back.

That wasn't true.

"I don't love you, Tweek." Those words haunt my mind. I wish you did.

Finally, there's the final thing, the most important thing that made me just snap.

Me.

I told myself I was worthless, annoying, a waste of space, all the names in the book. I pointed out my flaws. I made some of the flaws too. I got my hopes up, yet still continued to put myself down, and for that, I'm sorry.

-Tweek

I looked at the letter. I looked at the rope. I got it around my neck and felt it tighten around my neck. The air was cut off and it was painful to breathe.

Soon, everything faded, all faded away. Blackness all around me.

It's finally over.