I'm Already There

Chapter 5

Katniss

"Come on Katniss!" Prim says. "Please open one of your presents. It'll cheer you up." I just sit there, eating candy canes and drinking hot chocolate. I look over at Annie, who I've become really good friends with since connecting with her over our mutual situations. Being five weeks further along than me, she looks about ready to pop right now. Not that I'm much different. My due date is in eight weeks but they're pretty sure Tiffany already weights six or seven pounds. She's gonna be big for my first baby.

"You should try to enjoy yourself Kat," she says. "It is Chistmas."

"I can't enjoy myself when it's Christmas and I can't spend it with the father of my child!" I say. "I don't know where he is or if he's safe. I want him home. I don't want some material gift. The only reason I'm even down here is because I can't stop eating candy canes." Tiffany starts kicking frantically and I take deep breaths as I try to calm her down. When that doesn't work. I just get up and walk, well, waddle, out of the room. I need to get away right now. Away from the pretty twinkling lights and the sparkly decorations and the shining wrapping paper.

I grab Peeta's letterman, the only coat that stretches over my big belly and walk out into the backyard. It's cold, but no snow has fallen yet this year. I pull my arms closer around me, causing the collar of his jacket to rub over my nose. I take in a deep breath and sigh. It smells faintly of Peeta. You never really realize what something or someone smells like until they're gone and that's all you have left of them.

"God I miss you," I whisper. I feel the cold winter breeze blowing around as I sit down on the steps. My baby gives a gentle kick to remind me she's still there and I look at the shining, iridescent pearl that's made it's home on my ring finger. I smile sadly as I remember last Christmas, when he had made suspect he would ask me some day. He had given me the pearl and said that he thought it would look pretty on a ring some day. I don't know why, but I find myself starting to sing softly.

"Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far
They'll all lose track
Me, I'll bounce right back
Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

"Fine and Dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

"I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

"Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew
Maybe I'll just lie low
Maybe I'll hit the bars
Maybe I'll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

"Maybe I'll settle down
Maybe I'll just leave town
Maybe I'll have some fun
Maybe I'll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I'll be just

"Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

"I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

"I'll be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

"'Cause I'll be fine
(I'll be fine)
Oh, I'll be fine"

"Your voice is just as beautiful as I remember it," I hear a voice say behind me. A voice I've been longing to hear for nearly two months now. I lift my head and look over my shoulder and see his smiling face.

"Peeta?" I ask and he holds out his hand to help me up. I take it and he pulls me into his arms. "Oh my God, I was so worried." I feel myself start crying and he just rubs my back.

"Shhh," he whispers and I feel him plant a kiss to my forehead. "I'm here now. There's nothing to be afraid of. Let me get a look at you." He pulls away from me and looks at me with pure affection in his eyes. "You're glowing Kitten." I smile at him.

"How long have you been back?" I ask.

"About an hour," he says. "I got a ride with Finnick." I lay my arms on his shoulders and smile so brightly.

"I've missed you so much Peeta," I cry and he pulls me back to him.

"I've missed you both, too," he says and as I feel the baby kicking, I move his hand from around me to my stomach. He looks down at me with tears in his eyes. "I've missed nearly everything."

"Peeta, it isn't like she's done much," I say. "All that's happened is she's made me fat." He shakes his head.

"Katniss, she was barely the size of my thumb when I left now she's what? Four pounds?" he says and I look down.

"The doctors think more like five or six," I say. "But that doesn't matter. I tell her about you every night and she knows you love her. And I love you. You're home now and that's all that matters to me." I pull him into a kiss and he holds me next to him. I feel gentle snowflakes start to fall and I smile. We both look up and then he looks at me.

"You taste like peppermint," he says laughing.

"Yeah, that's Tiffany's fault," I say. "She really, really likes Candy Canes."

"Sure, blame it on the baby," he says and I laugh.

"Lets go inside," I say. "I think we have some things to catch up on."