Heaven Is

Five Years Later

January 8th 1991

Xavier is going to be five in July. May is going to be nine in February. Both May and Xavier have curly dark brown locks like me and bright blue eyes like their father. They're the most beautiful children I've ever laid eyes on. Our third baby is due in April. Sav and I are still happily married. Rick rejoined Def Leppard as a full time drummer. Def Leppard has released four albums since Rick's accident. Everything is going great, or so we all thought.

Steve's drinking has always been pretty bad to the point of nearly destroying his liver on a nightly bases and bouncing from rehab to rehab. We love Steve and he's still our family but we are all worried about him. He took a six month leave from Def Leppard and was tying to dry our.

It was a normal Tuesday, it was May and Xavier's first day back to school from Christmas holidays. They were sitting in their uniforms at the kitchen table while I made their breakfast. I could hear the water running through the pipes because Sav was in the shower. Xavier was sitting at the table colouring and May was at the counter buttering toast.

"Mommy, do we have to go to school today?" Xavier asks. "I mean we won't be missing a lot."

Both our children speak with only a slight British accent. They call me Mommy rather than Mummy. My theory of it all is because I'm a stay at home mum raising them and Sav bounces between the studio and tour.

"Baby, you've gotta go to school today. You'll miss all your friends." I say as I flip pancakes. "I bet Eli and Mika miss seeing you to."

"Besides bone head, I've got to get my big project today." May says and I point at her.

"Hey, what did I say about calling your brother names." I say and she looks down. "Apologize, May."

"I'm sorry, Xavier." She mumbles. "But you and uncle Rick call each other names all the time."

"Uncle Rick and I are adults." I remind her.

"What about Uncle Steve and Uncle Phil? Daddy says they're not adults." Xavier speaks up.

"Well I don't know where to start with those two." I say and I hear the water upstairs shut off.

"Mommy when do we find out what the baby is?" May wonders.

"When they're born in April." I tell her and she scowls.

"Eggie's mom is having a baby and she knows what it is." She states and I smile.

"Daddy and I decided that we didn't want to know what we are having. We didn't know with you and we didn't know with your brother." I explain.

"Yeah so you just gotta wait, May Flower." Sav calls with a smile as he walks into the kitchen.

Sav walks over to me and puts my hand on my stomach and smile. He brings my face up and kisses my lips. We hear our kids groan and that makes us smile.

"I love you, love." He tells me and kisses my nose.

We sit down to eat breakfast and Sav makes faces at our children to make them laugh. We ate our food and I start the dishes while Sav makes sure the kids are ready for school, May and Xavier are up stairs brushing their teeth.

"Love, where do we keep the uh--" Sav gets cut off by the phone ringing. "I'll get it, love."

Before Sav can pick up the phone it stops ringing. May likes to get the phone so it was probably her.

"Guess I'm not getting it." He laughs. "Baby moving around today?"

"Yeah an insane amount actually." I tell him. "At least this one doesn't kick me in the ribs like Xavier did."

Just then May runs into the kitchen crying and holding onto the phone. Sav takes the phone from her and May hugs me. I run my fingers through her hair. Sav hangs up the phone and looks at me.

"It was Phil. He says that Steve died." He says quietly and May's sobs get louder and her arms wrap tighter around me.

Tears start to roll down my face and they well up in Sav's eyes. I hold onto my daughter and drop my head. Sav's arms come around me and his head lands on top of mine. We cry together for a while.

"Why is everyone sad?" Xavier's voice says and Sav stands up.

He gets down to our son's level and wipes his eyes.

"Uh, Xavier, uncle Steve just died." Sav's voice is low and sad.

"Uncle Steve is dead?" Our boy asks quietly before sitting on the ground crying.

Steve was close to our kids, I mean he was pretty close to being a kid himself. There was just something about him that everyone loved. Steve is this huge sweetheart and is funny as hell. Steve almost became another brother to me from the second I met him. I can't believe he's really gone.

We all sit in the kitchen and cry for most of the day. The kids didn't go to school, I wasn't going to send them to school after them hearing about their uncle. After a while the kids cried themselves out and fell asleep.

Sav and I are sitting in the living room, my legs are pulled up tight to my chest and Sav's arms are wrapped around me.