Why I Have To

Chapter 27

"Love, alam naman ni Tatay yun. Naiintindihan niya. Kaya kayong dalawa intindihin niyo nalang rin, wag na kayo mag drama," I said casually, trying to brush off the topic.

The three of us continued eating. I saw how much they enjoyed the meal that I prepared for them, and I'm really proud of myself. My cooking has improved greatly.

"Althea, masarap ka na magluto ha. Hindi na maalat yung adobo mo," Wila praised.

Jade held my hand and complimented me more on my cooking, "masarap na nga magluto si Althea. Ang dami na niyang kayang recipes na gawin. I feel like coming home to a 5-star restaurant every night. Even my lunch is gourmet, may plating pa!"

"Wow. Improving nga! Daming time magaral magluto, ha Althea?" Batchi said. I could tell by the look that she's giving me that she's implying something.

"Nasanay lang," I simply replied. I don't want to give her answers that might push her to speak more. I know where she's getting at.

After dinner, I told them to wait for me at the living room because I prepared something. I set up my Les Paul Jr.— finally giving it a good use. I figured that if I can't use it to perform, at least I could use it to compose a song— to at least give justice to Jade's sacrifice of buying me that guitar.

"Love, this one's for you...again," I started.

Jade held up her phone to take a video and excitedly waited for me to start.

I swallowed a couple of times. I was excited for them to hear it awhile ago, but now, something doesn't feel right. I don't feel right. I took a long deep breath and started,

People tell me there will come a time
When your heart and mine will grow cold
No more staring at the evening sky
Low replaces high when you're old

As long as you're around I'll follow you
You won't ever be alone
As long as you're around I'll follow you
And I will be wherever you go

They say the future is our enemy
Time eventually will set the sun
But I believe in you and you believe in me
How can we ever go wrong?

As long as you're around I'll follow you
Heart is never gonna break
As long as you're around I'll follow you
And I will give whatever this love takes

So be patient baby
Hold me close
I hope you understand
You're a beautiful woman
And I'm just a man

So in the hours of the darkest kind
When it's hard to find who we are
One can stare into the other's eyes
Be each other's light in the dark

As long as you're around I'll follow you
You won't ever be alone
As long as you're around I'll follow you
I will be wherever you go

Jade was all over me after I finished the song. I should feel ecstatic and proud— but I don't.

I feel like a fraud.

It's true that I will follow her wherever she goes. I'll follow her to the ends of the earth if that's what it takes, but somehow I feel like I'm cheating on her.

Cheating in the sense that I'm not completely honest with her.

I have to tell her.

But how?

I was brought out of my reverie when she spoke, "love, you won't follow me, we're going there together, remember?"

I froze.

Does she know?

Does she have an idea?

"Sakto nga eh, you'll spend your last semester there and then you'll graduate, then you just have to wait for me for a little bit then we'll build our new life together," she added with hopeful eyes that's eating me up.