Falling Slowly

This Chapter Sucks But The Next Will Be Better

Idina's Point of View

I can't manage to stop the tremors flowing through my hands as I prepare to face the rest of the cast. It honestly wouldn't surprise me at this point if James had told the entire cast. I shove my hands in my pockets and hope that hides it. None of the girls turn around as I return to the lunch room. I sit back down in my seat and join in their laughter at a joke someone just told. No one acts any different. A quick glance shows James and Anthony talking animatedly, presumably about video games. I guess we're safe, at least for now.

James's Point of View

I didn't tell. I swore I wouldn't. I see the calculating look in Idina's eyes and I know she doesn't trust me. That hurts more than I care to admit. I rattle my brains trying to think of Idina mentioning a boyfriend or significant other or anybody who's been close to her in the past few months. Nothing comes up. You'd think if her boyfriend got her pregnant, she'd have brought him around. And maybe not be so determined to maintain her secrecy. Unless there is no boyfriend. My heart sinks to my gut as I think of the possibilities and implications that could have. All of these 'what if's are going to make me sick.
"James? Are you okay?" Anthony lays a hand on my shoulder. I didn't realize I'd completely zoned out on him.
"Sorry. Yeah. I'm just thinking about stuff." Anthony doesn't judge. A beautiful and rare trait to find in people anymore.
"Idina?" I nod in response, seeing the pain in his eyes and knowing how much he was affected by the accident. It killed him not to go to the hospital with us. He keeps it together better than anyone I know though. He stayed with the cast and relayed information as we prayed for a miracle. And we got our miracle. Idina's alive. But not happy. And not healthy. I wish she'd talk to me again. I kind of ruined that though, didn't I. I ponder when or where I could talk to her, try and get her to open up. Maybe I could follow her after practice. Wow that sounds creepy. It's the best option I can come up with though. Her dressing room is locked all the time now. She's always with the group of girls when we're on a break from rehearsal. Tonight. I'll do it tonight.