Falling Slowly

Trouble

Idina sits in the doorway of her closet, arm propped on her leg with her knife in the other hand. One more time won't hurt. Just as she raises the silver blade, the phone buzzes. And buzzes. Idina sighs and sets down the knife, both hating and grateful for the disruption. She retrieves her phone from the side table to see multiple texts and a missed call awaiting her. All from James. Why?

Hey Idina are you okay?

I miss you. Is everything alright?

Idina?

*missed call*

I'm worried about you honey. I'll be there soon.

The doorbell ring and Idina jumps. She looks down at her skimpy clothing, hanging too loose on her thin frame. The doorbell rings again as she scrambles to cover up. A long black skirt and a black turtleneck. How fitting. She grabbed what's comfortable and ended up looking like a witch. Just as the doorbell rings a third time, she opens the door a crack.

"Idina? Are you okay?" Relief washes over James at finding Idina alive and well, more or less.

"I'm fine. Why are you here?" Her words carry a fine bite to try and cover up worlds of weary hurt and soul deep pain.

"I missed you. And I'm worried about you. Are you in trouble?" Idina refuses to accept his concern. The last thing she wants to do is hurt him again. She's already done that enough.

"You're trouble. Get out." A quote from one of her favorite books. Initially appropriate but horrid once she remembers where the story goes. She tries to slam the door but James' foot prevents the door from shutting all the way. She whirls around and strides away from the door, annoyed at him for caring but mainly furious at herself.

"Honey...what happened? You look..."

"Like a witch. I know. It fits, okay?"

"No, honey. That's not what I was going to say."

"Well then what were you going to say?" Feet shoulder width apart and arms folded across her narrow body, Idina's stance and fiery eyes nearly hide the raw pain and brokenness so apparent not fifteen minutes prior.

"You look like you could use a hug." James tries to convey as much as he can in one simple sentence. His heart aches for Idina. Dark circles under her eyes, slightly crossed the way they always are when her head feels like it's about to explode. Her arms shift to be hugging herself, balancing one foot on top of the other. Little things, simple things. But to James she goes from a tower of strength and fiery anger to defenseless child. Idina shifts from foot to foot, desperately wanting a hug but just as much needing not to be touched. He steps closer and moves to wrap his arms around her. She jumps back.

"I'm sorry. No. Please. Don't touch me." Idina's voice breaks from fiery anger to broken innocence. James steps back and contends his arms with wrapping them around himself, though they ache for her.