Our Space

Chapter 20

Almost a year into his job, Sami never felt as hopeless and lonely as he used to. Sure, there were down times as there always are. But not to the extent that he became exhausted with simply living life.

In some ways, a lot had changed. In other ways, not much had changed. Sami still struggled to communicate with his family and fully fix the distance between them, especially his father. It seemed as if there was no sign of Sami's marriage any time soon and he was still living in the same place.

However, Sami could say with certainty that his family situation had improved. Since moving to London, Sami's mother used to have very silent phases but with the help of Manahil, Sami managed to get his mother involved in activities which would keep her occupied and help her make friends. Despite her hesitance, Sami had his mother join a women's only aerobics class which consisted of many middle aged women. Now she was a regular and enjoyed it. Manahil took their mother with her to the weekly classes at the local masjid though their mother was never the religious sort. She still wasn't entirely religious, but she'd ended up being welcomed in the local Muslim community regardless. Sami was satisfied that he'd made the right choice for his family in this instance.

Manahil had transformed into a whole new person. She now donned the niqab and wore a jilbab. Sami almost tried to talk her out of it in light of the recent rise of anti-Islamic attacks, but Manahil boldly exclaimed she didn't fear anyone but Allah. She'd also started teaching classes at her second home, the masjid, after an intensive six month course. Sami realised that in all these years, he didn't really know his sister well at all. That said, their relationship was becoming a lot better than Sami could have imagined it to be, although he still couldn't confide in her. He was still trying to figure his sister out, what she'd been through, what sort of life she'd led. He had no idea. Therefore, he remained hesitant to talk. What if she didn't like his humour? What if he accidentally offended her? There were so many doubts.

Nonetheless, Sami was extremely grateful at the direction his family was heading to. Their mother spoke of their father less, which was good in her case. She still went back to their old house every month when their father visited. But generally she seemed happier. Manahil was happier too, though she strongly felt a hole in her life where there should be a husband and maybe even a child by now. She was approaching the age of thirty three. Sami was searching for a husband for his sister, asking many of his friends and any authoritative figures in masjids to ask around and recommend people. Not only was Manahil's age a concern, but her past too.

A couple of months ago, Ali got married. It kind of happened out of the blue. Sami got a phone call in which Ali gave him the address of the masjid he was having his Nikah in a week's time. Qasim went to his home country over the summer and also married. Out of the four friends from school, Sami was the only one left to marry. He didn't let it bother him too much though. At least Harris was far from married still. He was fully focused on his career and becoming a barrister. However, Sami was satisfied as a learning mentor.

Sitting at his desk, Sami was engrossed in typing up his written notes, timing himself to come up with a new record, when someone snapped him out of his concentration.

"Hey, it's my tenth anniversary so I brought in cupcakes for everyone, take one," Sami's colleague said, putting a tray of cupcakes in front of him. He paused his work and looked at the tray of baked goods.

"Oh, congratulations, Stacey," He replied, taking a cupcake. "Thank you." He smiled as she grinned at him and moved onto the next person in the office.

Sami looked at the cupcake, then down at his stomach, and then at the cupcake again. Every day when Sami returned from work, he left for the masjid and taught there for two hours. Barely having time to cook, Sami had been living on a poor diet of takeaways and microwaved meals since he first moved to his flat. It was really starting to show. But then he couldn't waste the cupcake. He decided to just enjoy it without any guilt. Maybe he'd start working out and fixing his diet soon. Maybe.