The Birds of Prey: Nightwing (Batman Fanfic)

Chapter 10: The Langstroms (Part 1)

There's no trace of my son, nothing to go off. He was beaten and thrown off a building and is now being subjected to the Joker's torment. I thought I could do this, be a vigilante and be by myself but I ultimately knew that I could not. You came into my life by terrible circumstances. I would never wish the pain that you had felt, at such a young age, upon everyone but, I am glad that you did otherwise you would not have become the first Robin. 

I found it so difficult to allow you to put yourself in danger, as I saw myself in you so many times. How could I let you make the same mistakes as I did? After lying to you and smothering you, you walked away. I had never felt anything like that before, such loss. Not like the loss of my parents, that is an inevitable factor of life, to lose one's parents but to lose a child is something much worse. 

I did not hear from you in years, I merely heard rumors from Metropolis that you had been spending time with Superman, learning to become your own person. I was so immensely proud of you, Richard. I rarely showed just how proud I was of you, and I know, now that you are gone that this is something that I should have told you when you were still with us. Soon, I found that I had replaced that empty void inside me, with someone else, Jason. I knew that I needed to learn from my mistakes that I made with you, but I didn't. He died, in rebellion against me, against the pressure that I put on him which sent him running into the arms of the Joker.

 I had now lost two sons, was I prepared to take on another? Here is when I finally saw you again, as your own, as Nightwing. At just one glance, I could tell that this is the person that you were destined to be all long. A leader. It took us a while, but we eventually settled back into a good relationship, as I knew you had grown up. You were no longer the orphaned boy but a man was grown. You did tremendous work in Bludhaven, you drew the poison out of that city, all by yourself. I watched from a far as you grew closer to Barbara again, watched as you were finally content and happy, that is all a father wants. Some time later, you urged me to take on a new Robin, and I did. I knew now what I had to do, I could not lose another. But it's too late now, Tim is set to leave after we find you. Will I find you? If I do, can you promise that you  will be alive? I don't know what I would do if I found another dead son.

My breath comes out ragged as I stand, looking out at the city in front of me. There's a part of me that has come to accept that Richard is not alive and that he is gone. Barbara keeps urging me not to think like this, she is desperate now borderline frantic and there is nothing that I can do to ease her suffering.

I pull at the collar of my suit, feeling suddenly stifled. I am not ready for tonight, pretending to be jovial and put together when I actually feel like my world is falling apart. Attending events as Bruce Wayne is getting harder and harder to do, as the ex-girlfriend Vicky Vale likes to point out, I am becoming more and more like a recluse.

Bruce Wayne would usually turn up to a party with a couple of models on each arm, but not tonight, I don't think that I would be able to keep up the facade. I settled for taking Barbra and Tim, I'd need them to be able to make it through the night.

I glance down at my wrist to check the time. They are both late. It is a very rare occasion that Bruce Wayne would show up to an event on time, if I am not careful people may begin to guess that something is not right.

I stand in front of the new laboratory, trying to avoid the countless reporters who want to get an exclusive photo of Bruce Wayne. I lean against the railing which overlooks the parking lot, a glass of champagne in my hand which I touch to my lips without actually drinking. I hear camera's click, reporters vie for my attention but I ignore them. I am in no mood to entertain these people, tonight I have one goal and that's to find out what information I can from Kirk Langstrom.