with your love || h.s.

E i g h t

So maybe I wasn't exactly detailed on just how close me and Harry have gotten. When I say close, I mean close. We've gone out to lunch and dinner a few times, we went to the boardwalk carnival, we've went to the movies. He's held my hand before and even stayed with me until I fell asleep. We act like a couple but we're not. He's even kissed me...once or twice. But those times seem to be forgotten memories to him yet they still linger at the back of my mind. I'm confused about Harry. He's a jerk yet so sweet at the same time. He's protective, sweet, funny, not to mention too handsome for his own good. He has girls swooning over him whenever he steps foot out of the house. It's safe to say that I like him, like him. He has mood swings and sometimes they're quiet scary to witness. Some days he's like a ticking time bomb. When Louis and the rest of the boys planned the party, Harry stayed quiet. He had this look on his face that I wasn't quite sure of. And as for reinforcements, here I am, sitting in my room with the boys' girlfriends. They're giving me the "party basics" as Kathleen, Louis girlfriend, called them.

"We need to find you something totally hot for you to wear!" Paisley shouted. She's Liam's girlfriend and I've met her a few times. We've become pretty close ever since then.

"Guys, this isn't necessary!" I groaned and fell back on my bed. They glared at me as they rummaged through my closet. I thought back to clothes I had brought with me and clothes I've bought recently. My style had become more punky over time but I still loved to wear girly things. I jumped up and pushed everyone out of my closet before shutting it and locking the door. The girls began pounding on the door and shouting words that I'd rather not repeat. I chuckled before looking around at my clothes. No. No. Too ugly. Too nun like. Ew when the hell did I buy that. I suck. I finally picked out a black tank top like dress that ends just below my butt, my sheer tights with tiny crosses on them and my bright pink Doc Martens. Satisfied with my outfit, I sat down in front of the mirror and did my make-up, a smokey eye. My hair was already straight so I teased it a little and I was ready.

"Is this good enough?" I stepped out of my closet and raised an eyebrow. The girls quit talking among themselves and stared at me. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable until they started gushing how much they loved my outfit. I did a little twirl and laughed as I joined them on the bed.

"So Ann, do you think Harry will make a move tonight?" Paisley asked. She wiggled her eyebrows up and down while I rolled my eyes at her. The other girls gasped and looked at me.

"WHAT?! YOU AND HARRY?!" Marissa, Niall's girlfriend, shouted. I put my hand over her mouth and shushed her.

"Yes, no...I don't know." I sighed. "He's so confusing. We've hung out a lot and we've done couple-y stuff and he's kissed me but then he acts like it never happened. There's days where I want to punch him in the face and other days I want to kiss the hell out of him. I just don't know."

"You need to talk to him!" Kathleen demanded. "Pronto. You can't let him do that to you, hun. Show him who's boss!"

I giggled at them as they all nodded franticly in agreement. I guess it just goes to show that I'm too much of a baby to confront him about it. What if he doesn't even like me like that? What if he only kissed me because he felt bad? What if, what if, what if.

By midnight the party was in full swing. There wasn't a room that didn't have druken teenagers dancing or practically having sex. I've had a few drinks and I couldn't find the girls anywhere. So, here I am walking around aimlessly by myself with a red plastic cup in my hand. I don't even know what's in this cup but it's damn good. Maybe I should go find Harry and try to talk to him about this. I want to know where we stand in this...thing we have going on. If there even is a thing. I pushed past swaying bodies, not seeing his curly mop among them. I checked out back and didn't see him there either, maybe he's in one of the guest rooms. Pushing my way back through the chaos, I made my way upstairs. I took my time walking down the long hallway, running my fingers down the wall. I don't know how to word it to him. Hey Harry, I really like you, you know so how about you stop sending me mixed signals like an asshole and like me back. No. I stopped at the first door and opened it only to be filled with disappointment to see it empty. The next two rooms were the same so now standing outside of the thrid, my nerves are taking over and I can't seem to find the courage to open the door. But pushing past my fear I did, only to be met with a horrible scene.

Harry was laying on his back while a blonde girl straddled him. His one hand on her lower back and the other on the back of her neck. What the fuck. My eyes started to burn and I knew what was coming. I cleared my throat and their heads whipped in my direction.

"Anna -" I cut him off by shaking my head and running out of the room. By now tears were coming down like Niagara Falls and I coulnd't stop them. Maybe I'm overreacting and maybe it's not that big of a deal. Maybe all of the stuff I thought had happened was just all in my head. Maybe the truth is that he did feel bad for me and was just hanging out with me out of pity. Maybe he kissed me because it was just something to do. I felt sick as I stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. I chugged down five red cups of strong alcohol and was about to go for a sixth when a hand grabbed my wrist and slapped the cup out of my hand.

"Anna! Stop it!" Harry. He has the nerve to tell me what to do when he was practically having dry sex with that girl. I laughed bitterly to myself as I turned to him and smacked him right across the face. People around us were oblivious to what was happening and I'm glad no one saw. His eyes filled with regret and hurt when I pushed past him. The alcohol was taking it's effect and my vision started to blur, partly because tears were still freely falling down my face. I heard him calling my name behind me and I started to run. I pushed my way out of the front door and ran down the steps, only to trip on the last step and go hands and knees first onto the gravel. I let out a scream as I felt the skin being torn away.

"Ann- are you okay?" It was him again. He tried to help me up but I slapped his hands away.

"Don't you dare touch me Harry. I don't need your help, I don't need you." Okay, maybe that was harsh but I didn't care, the alcohol had fully taken over my body and it felt good. He watched in horror at the words I said to him.

He shook his head, "you don't mean that."

"Yes, yes I do H-Harry. You fucking knew what I felt a-and then you go and do that? Go fuck y-yourself." I slurred as I stumbled away from him. It was cold out and I was in nothing but a skimpy tank dress and tights. I didn't dare look back at him, in fear that I'd go back. I guess I am overreacting, I've only known him for two months. But I told him things, things I wouldn't tell anyone else, not even my closest friends.

I guess bad things do happen to good people.