Why I Have To

Chapter 24

I searched for the keys and turned the knob, all the while holding her hands. I turned on the switch of the twinkling lights and... nothing. Complete darkness.

"What the?" I turned it on again and again, I even turned the switch of the lamp shade but still.. Nothing.

"Love, ano nangyayari?" she asked as she blindly searched for me.

"Shit. Palpak nanaman ako. Sorry pero mukhang brownout, love," I said, clearly dismayed.

She removed the blindfold and went out the door to see if it's also dark outside.

She came back to me crying hysterically.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm really sorry!" she kept wailing.

Why is she saying sorry? Confused, I hugged her tight and asked, "why are you saying sorry? It's not your fault that the power is out."

"It is! I'm sorry. I forgot to pay the bill."

Oh.

We had an agreement— well, she made an agreement that we should pay the bills alternately so that it would be fair. It's her turn to pay this month's electric bill. I tried to argue with her, but as usual, she won.

I led her to the couch, and rubbed her back to calm her down. "It's no ones fault. It's okay, love. We have candles, it would be more romantic."

"It's my fault... I ruined your surprise... I'm sure you spent all day working on it, and here I am, ruining it for you... I am so irresponsible... I can't even pay on time for the damn electric bill," she said in between sobs.

"Shhh... Jade... What are you talking about? You are the most responsible person I know, and forgetting to pay the bill is nothing compared to all the responsibilities you have to deal with everyday."

"Stop making me feel better about myself. I mean... what the hell am I doing? Here I am thinking that I could provide for myself when I can't even pay the stupid bill. Who am I kidding right?"

There it is.

She finally said it.

She's been too strong for too long that it almost scares me, but finally, after so many months, she showed how truly scared and lost she really is.

I cupped her tear stained face and made her look at me, "Love, you've been doing so good. Really good. It's okay to be scared, it's okay to doubt yourself. Being scared is not a weakness, Jade. Because if you're not scared, then you're not doing anything worth it at all."

Her tears soon stopped flowing from her eyes, and she finally calmed down. I wiped her tears away, and gently placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "You don't have to do this by yourself. That's why I'm here, I'll always be here with you."

If it was even possible, I loved her more after that. I love her at her strongest and I love her more at her most vulnerable.

She nodded her head and wrapped me in a long and warm embrace. Once she let go, I asked, "can we still continue my surprise?"

Even when the room's pitch black, I could sense that she's finally smiling, so I blindly find my way to the kitchen in search of the candles.

"Isn't this more romantic?" I asked as we ate our pizza.

"Uhuh. I've always wanted a candle lit dinner," she beamed.

I picked up my guitar and started fiddling with the strings, I gazed at her under the warm flame from the candle and asked, "just like old times?"

"Just like old times," she replied and prompted me to sing, just like what we usually do when we're on the rooftop.

"Ooooh. I think I found the perfect song for us right now," I said giggling.

"Go ahead, love."

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but girl if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a girl who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

She didn't even let me finish the song. She took the guitar out of my hands and crushed me against the floor. She straddled my hips and hovered over me, smiling like she's up to no good.

"I am so in love with you, I wanna marry you now," she whispered.

"Aren't we already sort of married?" I asked playfully.

"Good point," she smirked.

"Thank you, Althea. For always finding ways to make me happy, for always knowing the right words to say," she paused— "so please, let me make it up to you."

I looked at her curiously.

She pulled out the blindfold that I used on her and wrapped it over my eyes, while I lie under her, obliging to her every whim. She kissed me gently, almost too tenderly on the lips and muttered, "remember the first time you let me touch you?"

I nodded. I took a sharp intake of breath as I felt her lips breathe down my neck.

"Remember how you cried?" she asked, as she continued to blow hot kisses on my neck down to my collarbone.

"You said that you didn't cry because it hurt,"

Her hands are now on my thighs, tracing lazy circles through my inner thighs— teasing it. Her tongue licking from my collarbones up to my neck.

"You said you cried because it made you feel so much,"

She continued licking her way up until her tongue reached my ears, her hot breath tickling me when she haughtily whispered, "let me make you feel tonight."

***

And you did, Jade.

You made me feel.

And it's too much.

And that is why I have to let you go.

Love,
Althea

Author's Note: Kinda magulong filler. I know. Lol. :)

The song's called Your Song by Elton John :)

P.S. If you guys are wondering, I mentioned Miggy in Chapter 8 :)