Crack of Sunlight (Ereri/Riren)

*~Chapter Twenty Two~*

Levi's hands moved to his thighs and he drew in a deep breath through his nose "I'm not that different from people who chose the same path I did," he said quietly. "Either they were influenced by the people around them or they had shitty things happen to them and saw no other way to cope. Or in my case, both. Either way, we're all miscreants by choice."

"Even so, I want to understand."

Slowly, Levi turned his whole body to face Eren, crossing his legs in the same fashion. He folded his arms over his stomach. "Then I want you to answer a question for me, as well."

"What is it?"

"I'll tell you when I'm finished." With that, he reached over and picked his own cup of tea from the coffee table, lifting it to take a small sip. Once he lowered it back into his lap, he gently drummed his nails against the side of it, seemingly even sure where to begin."

Eren's curiosity trumped his hesitance, causing him to ask, "What was it like when you did it the first time?"

"Opium or heroin?"

"H-heroin," he stammered, followed by a swig of tea to rid his tongue of the fowl taste the word left in its wake.

Levi stared into his tea as he answered. "At first it's terrible. Scary. It's so foreign to your entire being as a whole that you feel like you've unintentionally committed suicide. But then comes the rush and an overwhelming sense of calm and safety. Really, you could be in the absolute most dangerous situation and feel completely at ease. While you're under, it's the best thing in the world and you can't help but wonder why in the hell you didn't try it before. You feel like you could perhaps fly, but you've still got enough good sense to keep yourself from jumping off a building. It's a euphoria."

Eren's eyes were wide as he took in the words. A question bubbled up. "A-and that's what you've been feeling this whole time?"

"...No. For me, it's not so much a euphoria anymore, just straight up addiction. I do it because it's what allows me to feel moderately normal and, as I've told you before, it erases the pain. Keeps the waking nightmares away. Hardly even experience the rush anymore. At least...not nearly as strong as it used to be. Nonetheless, I can't stop. It's dragged me under too deep. I can't even see light anymore." His voice cracked and in an attempt to cover it up, he took a large swallow of his tea. "Or so I thought before..."

"Before what?"

"Before that day in November when you walked into the shop and twisted up everything I was used to."

The rush of blood to Eren's cheeks was instantaneous. He quickly took another sip of his own tea, attempting to hide it, but that could only shield him for so long. Levi's gaze transferred up to that face and upon seeing the beautiful shade of pink in those incredibly soft cheeks, his stomach fluttered.

He didn't have much time to take it in, however, because at that point the rawness of his lungs and trachea settled in as the monster was leaving. He only had a second to draw in a breath before the agonizing coughing took over.

Eren reacted immediately, gently prying the mug from his hands and placing it back on the coffee table alongside his own. By then, Levi was doubled over, the retching loud and painful to merely listen to. His head was almost in the teen's lap and with each new cough came a tremor throughout his whole body. Between each round of retching, his breath came in a struggle. His hands had turned to pallid fists on his stomach, fingers curled around the black fabric of his hoodie.

Eren gently rubbed his back, biting his lip. Unsure of what else to do, he felt helpless. He wanted to be able to reach inside of Levi and take all of his pain away, to rid him of this agony and make it all okay for him. But unfortunately, he wasn't a superhero and all he could do was sit there, rubbing the bony back of the tattoo artist, and wait for the fit to subside.