Why I Have To

Chapter 23

"I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea," I exclaimed upon pulling back from the kiss.

"What is it?" she asked skeptically.

"I promise I won't spend a dime on you," I dragged her to  our room and commanded her to dress up, whether she likes it or not.

Jade was ecstatic upon entering the door. The scent of old books almost drove her to ecstacy, this is one of the few times that I've actually seen her smile genuinely after everything. I took her to the National Library, she was literally bouncing up and down her seat when she figured out where we're going.

I followed her aisle after aisle as she scans all the volumes that she might be interested in. She had this fascinating look in her eyes, like she's a predator and the books are her prey. It's weirdly endearing.

I followed her all the way to the farthest nook of the library, she finally stopped at the classics and picked a book— Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights.

"That again? You've read that a hundred times, love."

"I know, but I left my copy at the mansion."

"Why do you have to read it again? That book is dark."

She held the book closer to her chest— seemingly offended. "But the book's like us, love."

"What do you mean?" I said as I reached my hand to her forehead to smooth the forming crease.

"First of, it has a theme that depicts strict ideals of morality, hypocrisy, discrimination on gender and social classes, stuff like that. You know, like my father," she said as she smiled— not quite reaching her eyes.

I nodded for her to go on.

How come this girl knows everything?

"And second, we are kind of like Heathcliff and Catherine."

I furrowed my eyebrows and said, "so who's Heathcliff then? Me?"

She giggled at my reaction and nudged me playfully. I could tell that she's trying to say no, when I can see clearly in her eyes that it's definitely yes.

"So I'm Heathcliff then, huh? Are you telling me I'm uncouth?" I smirked as I moved closer to her face, challenging her— trespassing her personal space.

"No, that's not what I meant," she flustered. I looked at her intensely, coming closer, until she backed away and hit the shelves.

Cornered.

Jackpot.

"You're like my Heathcliff, somebody I'm not supposed to love but I did. And I'm Catherine, someone who was made to choose between surrendering to culture and not. Like David and you. But the difference between us is that I am both Catherine and at the same time I'm not, she didn't choose Heathcliff. She chose conformity. While I choose you, everyday."

"That's really nerdy and cheesy. Don't mind me," she added, embarrassed.

I kissed her.

What could anybody say after that, right? It wasn't nerdy or cheesy at all, it was raw and real.

Her arms automatically wrapped around my hips, holding me closer. While my arms are held high above her head, clutching one of the ledges of the book shelf for balance. I moaned against her lips as her tongue slithered its way in my mouth.

I pressed my body harder against her, craving the friction from her heated body. Her hands dropped from my waist as it slid under my jacket and rested against my breast.

I kissed her even harder this time— sucking her lips and exploring her mouth, making her moan. She cupped my breasts and squeezed it, which makes me want to desperately take my bra off. I pulled back from the kiss to gaze at her longing eyes, the emotions I saw mirrored mine, tethering her to me.

She smirked at me.

She looked so smug as if she's telling me she owns me. And she does. She really does.

She snaked her way over the waistband of my jeans, reaching the center to unbutton it when—

"Mga ma'am, mawalang galang na po pero bawal maglampungan dito," said a red faced elderly man wearing a janitorial uniform.

We immediately jumped away from each other, and thank god he walked away before he can see our embarrassed faces.

"Shit. Blue balls," I heard her mutter.

We suppressed our laughter until we checked out the book from the library. We went out the doors, hand in hand together, laughing hysterically.

"Dinner?" I asked her, still laughing.

"I thought we're not going to spend anything?"

"We're not. Just come with me."

"We could've 'come' together inside the library," she said, and we both fell into fits of laughter.

I took her to a food fair nearby. Our game plan was to take every piece of free food sample around. We went around the booths, chatting up the sellers, asking about their products— looking like an interested buyer when we're actually just after the free stuff.

We were full by the time we rounded the place for the second time so we took a seat at one of the rounded tables.

"That manong was a real cock block. I thought I could finally fulfill my fantasy of doing it in a library," she suddenly blurted with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

I pinched her nose and said, "And what exactly is that fantasy?"

"Me as a sexy librarian while you— a poor lost soul in search of a book that might change her life," she said seductively.

We stared at each other for a few seconds and laughed. We laughed so hard until our insides hurt. She looked so happy and carefree, as if somehow the weight on her shoulders have lighten.

"Aren't we cheap?" she asked, giggling.

"Yes, we really are."

"Thank you, love. I really had fun today."

"Anything for you. But please, let me take you out on a real date soon," I pleaded her.

"Isn't this a real date? This is one of the most real dates we've ever had. We don't have to go or do anything expensive or romantic. I am perfectly happy with this."

And then she smiled. A smile so genuine that I almost believed it. Yes, I saw happiness in there in its purest form, but underneath that is sadness.

I saw it and I saw how much you tried to hide it.

****

You may have fooled yourself and everyone else, but you can't fool me, Jade.

And that is why I have to let you go.

Love,
Althea

Author's Note: Filler chapter because fillers are much needed for feelings. Lol

If you haven't read it yet, please check out Wuthering Heights. It's a good book. :)