~My Teacher Hits Me~ (Book 1) [Rewritten]

Chapter 10: Don't Tell

When they reach Cas's house, Tuck and Cas pool money to pay the driver, and then Cas moves to assist Rylan to the door. Rylan flinches when he reaches out to support her. She instantly feels bad, but Cas pretends not to notice her hesitance. He waits for Rylan to take his arm. After a moment, she does. Her body aches too much to make it inside the house on her own.

Once inside, all Rylan wants is someplace she can be alone. Her face stings and she feels grimey all over. She doesn't want to think about the bruises she'll have all over her body by the next morning.

"Can I use your bathroom?" Rylan asks quietly. She feels awkward around her friends now. Will they treat her differently? Pity her? Thankfully, Cas's parents don't appear to be home. At least she didn't have to lie and pretend around them.

Cas glances at Rylan worriedly. "Of course. It's down the hall to your left."

When Rylan finds the bathroom, she closes the door and locks it, sighing in relief. She's finally alone. Rylan wanders over to the shower and turns the knob on full heat, then searches for a new bar of soap. After finding one under the sink, Rylan relaxes against the wall and lets herself slide down to the floor. She wants to scream and cry and tear her hair out, but she can't decide what to do first, so in her frustration she breaks down and sobs. Her entire body shakes. Rylan is thankful the sound of the water drowns out the terrible noise coming from her broken soul.

How had things gotten so out of hand? Moving here was supposed to be a fresh start. So much for that plan. Her life has been shitty ever since moving here. Rylan misses her old friends, not that she had many. She hates herself, hates her life, hates her school, but most of all, she hates Blake. Rylan mops her face with her hands.

She forces herself to stand and peels her clothes off her aching body. The blood stains on her pants make her feel like throwing up. She has never seen this much blood before. Rylan catches her eyes in the reflection in the mirror. It takes her a second to process the image. She hardly recognizes herself.

Her dark brown hair no longer frames her face. Rather, it stands up on end in random patches while other patches are matted against her head and skin. Her mascara has smeared from the tears and tracked down her face in horrific, spattered rows that have now been smeared slightly by her hands. Rylan wonders why the taxi driver didn't say anything. Her appearance is certainly terrifying enough to warrant questions.

None of the old Rylan presents herself in this image. She can't see innocence or confidence or happiness, but Rylan does see a spark of something else register in her eyes. It glints for but a moment, yet Rylan recognizes it instantly: grit.

Rylan is a fighter. If nothing else, she could push on. Blake may have shaken her courage, but he hadn't destroyed it. He still terrifies her, but courage isn't an absence of fear. Rylan can't let him win. She won't give in to him or anyone else.

That glint is all she needs to convince herself that she isn't completely broken. Rylan climbs into the shower and scrubs away all evidence of the events of today. She won't be able to forget it, but she isn't going to let it control her either. Blake will not hurt her like this again and Mr. Quinn will have to answer to a higher authority if he continues to mess with her.

When Rylan exits the shower, she feels different--lighter--stronger. The girl in the mirror looks more like the old Rylan, but she can also see the damaged pieces underneath that aren't about to disappear. She will have to work harder to make sure her dad doesn't see the damage. If she tells him about this, she'll have to tell him about everything: skipping class, getting drunk, Mr. Quinn. Although it would be great to get all the lies off her chest, she'd be in just as much trouble as she'd be saving herself from. Rylan can't tell him.