Ever since 6 months ago, when Yoongi had accused you of cheating on him with his best friend Namjoon, he had always hated Namjoon since. He'd always shoot daggers at him across the practice room, having to control himself and prevent himself from attacking him.
He was irritated when his once close friend came into his studio without knocking on the door or anything. Namjoon was usually calm and collected, and it shocked Yoongi when he noticed dark circles underneath his eyes, his expression menacing. He dropped a small disk in front of him.
'Its from (Y/N),' Yoongi's heart ached and longed at the sound of your name. It also twisted and writhed at the sound of it, remembering that it was the name of the one whom had cheated on him with his best friend.
'If you knew what was good for you, you would watch it. Get your fucking ass together and watch it,' his eyes followed the tall man as he strode away, slouching slightly, leaving the studio.
Yoongi stared at the disk, looking at the old writing he missed so much. He hesitantly put it into his player, getting it up in a new tab. Your voice echoed throughout the room, filling his ears and his heart with reminders of you.
'Hey there, stranger!' He heard you voice cheerily peep out from the speak, and he fell in love with you all over again.
'It's been a while, huh? Jagi~,' your voice giggles weakly and warms him, not realizing how much he had missed you, 'it really has,' he mumbled under his breath.
You sighed through the speakers, 'wow, this isn't going to be easy. Listen, Yoongi, I know you may hate me, but that doesn't - didn't - stop me from loving you. I never meant for you to misunderstand the situation. I'm going to tell you this all slowly, and I hope you listen intently.' He nods to himself.
'All those times I saw Namjoon, they weren't dates. Those texts weren't about our secret relationship either. I have - had - been experiencing pain. Lots of pain. Lots and lots of pain and fatigue. That's why I was always asleep. I told Namjoon because I didn't want to bother you when you were so busy. So, we went to the doctors.'
'Yoongi, listen. I have - had - well, uhm,' he heard your voice waver slightly,' Well, after I had loads of tests, we got the results back. My diagnosis:.... Cancer... It was terminal. I was already in the serious stages and there wasn't much they could do. By the time you listen to this, I'll probably be gone. I am gone. Otherwise, Joonie wouldn't have given it to you.' Yoongi hadn't fully processed everything, still bathing in the rich and sweet sound of your voice that surrounded him. 'I'm sorry for not telling you. Hey, Yoongi? Can I tell you something?' He heard your voice begin to crack, and you sounded as though you were crying and it broke his heart. 'I-I'm scared. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to never see your face again, feel your touch, look into your eyes, touch your soft hair. I don't want to go to sleep knowing I won't be able to wake up and see you again. I don't want to d-... I want to see you. I miss you. I love you,' he could hear her smiling through the gentle sniffles coming from the speakers, 'am I cruel to say these things? I don't know. I love you, Min Yoongi. Thank you for letting me experience all the feelings that come with love; good and bad. Thank you for loving and letting me love in return. Thank you. I'll see you in the next life, lover boy. Here's a load of videos and photos Namjoon and I found, and this song! Do you remember this song?'
The music swarmed his ears as he smiled at the memory, your first drunken night together.
'Yoongi-ah!' you whined, grabbing his large hands and lacing your fingers with his. You started to sway your arms, bobbing slightly to the song, deviously smirking at the tall boy. 'Dance with me~!'
He remembered smiling, his head thrown back in embarrassment and he felt himself being charmed right into your hands. He pulled you close, and you both started awkwardly dancing like the 'old' couple you were.
He sat smiling to himself, remembering this feel of your hands entwined with his. Next was a picture of your first date. He felt his eyes glossing over as he remember, seeing all different pictures and clips. He saw a funny video of you filming him at a restaurant making strange noises, him then taking the camera to film you, covering you face with your hands and doing some sort of peek-a-boo motion, your eyes wide and your smile alive. You told him to scooch over, turning the camera towards both of you - together in one frame. You gave him a peck on the cheek, and Yoongi smiled at the memory.
The next clip was of the night you got engaged. He hadn't spoken to you in a while because he was so nervous. You thought he was going to break up with you when you heard the daunting words we need to talk. He remembered when he stood in front of you, hands shaking, eyes scaling everywhere but your face. He remembered how he struggled to get into his back pocket and dropped the box the ring was in due to his nerves. How, when he picked it up, he got down on one knee and your eyes widened. How you stuttered the same word and phrase again and again. 'W-w-what? What? What's going on- what? Wha- Y-Yoongi, what are you-' and how you gaped at the ring in the box. He remembered how he sheepishly and nervously asked the question, not getting it out right and being frustrated with himself. He remembered closing his eyes and anticipating your answer. He remembered slowly looking up to seeing tears streaming down your face with no intention of stopping, him panicking inside. He was sure you'd say no until he saw a reluctant and quick nodding of your head, a smile spread across your face. He remembered you whining about how you were worried that he was going to break up with you and him laughing in return. He drowned in the memory, tears spilling out of his eyes.
He then winced as he remembered the night and things he said to you 6 months ago.
'I never even loved you anyway,' he felt instead regret as he heard the words coming out of his own mouth. He hated lying, especially when they were words like this. Looking up at you, he saw your expression change. It looked hurt and confused and it was contorted as though you were in physical pain for a moment. He felt his heart throb and immediately wanted to engulf you in his arms and apologize. But then he remembered why he was mad at you. He carefully watched your actions, watching you as you turned away, grabbing your jacket. He painfully watched as you pried the ring he'd given you as a seal from your finger. He watched you rip out his heart. Your words stung him, and once you left, he stared after you. His mouth was slightly open, his ears red and eyes stinging. His heart ached and he immediately missed you. He wanted to run after you, but knew that it wouldn't help or change the situation. He thought you would come crawling back, pleading for forgiveness within the next week. But one week turned into two, two turned into a month, a month turned into 4 and he just gave up. He realized you really had moved on. That didn't change the fact he thought about you every second of every day.
Once the video was done, he still hasn't quite grasped what had happened. His throat was dry, a lump that he couldn't swallow stuck. He sluggishly got up from his chair, walking over to the door. He exited the studio, looking at his 6 friends sitting down all together.
'Where is she..?' He started slowly. They all looked down, none replying. 'Where is she?'
'She's gone.'
'What do you mean 'she's gone'?!' He asked, voice raising slightly, shaking. His fists were in tight balls at his side, knuckles turning white. His eyes were red and his breathing was heavy. He looked broken.
'What do you fucking mean?!' He was choking out his words, trying to prevent the sobs from spilling out his mouth.
'Why?! Why didn't any of you tell me!' The boy sunk to the ground, head resting in his hands. He muttered the same questions over and over again, distraught. His heart felt like lead in his chest, the taste of bile rising in his throat. He body shook with every loud and painful sob that exited his throat. He cried your name, over and over. He hadn't seen you for 6 months and suddenly you were gone. The memories of you were there, but you weren't. He let you slip right through his finger tips, and he felt himself slip right through as well.
