You noticed something was wrong. The only person you told about it was Namjoon, not wanting Yoongi to have any more worries on his shoulders. You'd noticed how you were feeling more tired more frequently, and how it was getting excessive. You noticed how exhausted and out of breath you felt from walking up a couple stairs. You'd noticed how you had continuous pains and aches echoing throughout your body. You could barely stay awake, barely eat your food and barely move sometimes. So, Namjoon decided you should see someone about it.
The first time you went, they brushed it off. Said it was nothing but a little bit of stress. But then, it all started getting worse, the pain was more frequent, more excruciating than previous.
The second time you went, they decided to take tests. They took your blood pressure, MRI scans, x-rays, blood tests, urine tests - everything. They showed concern.
The third time you went was to receive results. You heart was heavy and you knew the news you were going to receive wasn't going to be relieving. When they told you, the words had echoed throughout your mind, lingering there in every inch of it. You remember Namjoon shouting, telling them they must've gotten them wrong. But they hadn't. He kept asking them if there was anything they could do, to which they replied they could slow the process down.
Namjoon had informed all of the boys apart from Yoongi, knowing that it was best that you told him yourself.
Joonie went to every check-up with you, made sure you were doing okay. Most of the time when you went out to see him, it was to go to the hospital. You'd find yourself calling him often when you were in public, having another attack of unbearable pain. You never spoke to your fiancé anymore, when he came home you were always sleeping. When you'd wake up, he'd be in the studio. You missed him.
Being apart from him hurt the most, you thought, more than any of the attacks you'd had prior. You'd always be thinking about him, how much hatred he had in his eyes. I never even loved you anyway, still haunting your mind. Whenever you were freezing inside those plain white walls, you'd imagine him smiling down at you with dark pools, climbing into the uncomfortable bed with you, wrapping his long and slender arms around your waist, pressing his body against yours and sharing his warmth with you. You'd remember the times he'd cuddle you when you were cold from a raging fever. How he'd manage to snake his arms around your waist in the middle of the night, clutching you in his embrace. You'd remember the smell of his clothes, the feel of his touch, the warmth of his gaze - and it hurt you more than anything. Ever since that night you left the small apartment you shared, the attacks became more frequent and more severe.
You knew you didn't have long left.
'Namjoon-ie?' You croaked. You friend looked up at you, eyes tired and heavy. You felt bad for putting all this on him, but he was the only person around. 'Can I go outside? I miss the air,' you told him, smiling slightly. You saw him nodding, a look in his eyes telling you I'll see what I can do.
The air outside was different from how you remembered it. You had been stuck in a white room for so long, you had started to forget. It felt colder than it used to, biting at your fingertips and nose. Your head was cold, covered by a small black beanie. You'd lost all your hair already, only a bald scalp left in its place. It only made you feel colder, the absence of the weight of your silky hair no longer warming your neck. Even though you weren't in the room any longer, you still had a drip connected to your arm, and a small tank of oxygen hanging from the left side of your wheel chair. You didn't have enough energy to even stand up anymore. You missed being outside, you missed having strength. You missed Yoongi. You missed his touch. You missed the one familiar presence of the ring on your finger, the natural feel of the hair on your skin. You missed the feeling of warmth, which you rarely felt anymore. You missed living.
