Colors

Fifteen

"Hey, don't we have that math test today?" I asked, pulling my books out of my locker and turning to face Alex. I'd tried to study, of course but that little shit kept popping into my head. His laugh echoed in the back of my skull and I kept seeing flashes of his red skin whenever I blinked, an image burned into my brain that I wanted to keep. That I couldn't keep.

"Yeah, last period I think..." Alex nodded and smiled, cutting my thoughts short as he dragged me off to class. Luckily the colour hadn't spread past my chest, so I had no issue just wearing my regular outfits for school which were comprised of tight jeans and t-shirts.

"Okay, cool. I think I'll use my free period and lunch to study then..." I walked into the english room and moved straight to my desk, dumping my bag and sitting on top of the wooden table instead. I'd move into my spot once Miss Cliff arrived, but for now it was easier to talk to the tall brunette.

"Good idea. Didn't study at home?" Alex frowned and turned to look at me with concern in his eyes after dropping his bag. He started to get his books out of the backpack and stopped when he spoke. "You still sick?"

"Yeah, a bit... I couldn't really focus over the weekend." I stopped as the teacher walked into the room and quickly sat down in my seat, pulling my books out and focusing all of my energy on the classwork for once.

Studying at lunch meant that the exam went as well as it could have, luckily I'd been mostly prepared from in-class work but I knew that I had to pick myself up or else it wouldn't be so simple next time. The bell rang and the classroom breathed out a sign of relief. I quickly stood up and swung my bag over my shoulder, not so much in a rush but just wanting to get out of the hell that was the classroom.

"You going to see Kirstie?" Alex asked with a glint in his eyes as he too stood up and packed away his things, letting me know that he didn't mean Kirstie. Only a few people turned to look at me but interestingly enough, most of the school knew about our 'relationship' and I can't say that it was really a big worry. I hadn't heard a bad comment about me and Alex since people found out anyway. 

I was lucky that not many people were looking because I felt myself physically tense at the question. I'd forgotten. Well, I hadn't forgotten, more like I'd repressed the thought. I didn't want to think about what I was going to do. "Uhh, yeah." I said softly, trying to keep my voice from wavering. 

Alex raised an eyebrow at my response but said nothing, starting to move toward the door as a sign that I should follow. "How is she anyway? You two okay?" He asked, still wanting to be careful of anyone who could be listening. 

"Yeah, she's good. I haven't seen her since the other day though..." We walked toward the school parking lot, and I'd noticed that I was taking smaller steps, trying to stall and get away from going to the park. We kept walking together until we met the fork in the road, one path going home to safety and the other going to Mitch. A week ago he meant more safety than my house did, but I knew now that he couldn't be. Not anymore. 

I smiled half-heartedly at my best friend before starting to walk to the park. I had to fight my own instincts that were telling me to turn back, my stomach churning and my heart racing. I couldn't do this, Mitch was the most important person in my life. I had to do this. Mitch was the most important person in my life. I couldn't put him through this, it'd be better if he never even knew. 

I eventually made it to the hill, involuntarily cringing as I felt my shoe hit the pavement one second and the grass the next. I went to sit in my usual spot to wait for Mitch but he was already there. 

"Hey." 

"Hi Scottland. You're late?" He asked, and it was less of an observation and more of a question as to why I wasn't on time.