16 Letters

16 Letters : Letter #16

 SEVENTEEN

    We’re finally here. The drive all the way up had been a quiet, quiet one. The music was turned down really low and we hardly talked at all during the whole ride. Haley’s facial expression was one that I could not read. She didn’t look sad; she just looked quiet and deep in thought. I wanted to say something to her to make her feel better, but as always I was lost for words. In the end, I knew that not saying anything didn’t mean that I didn’t care about how Haley felt. Not saying anything simply meant that I respected that Haley wanted some time alone to herself.

    We got out of the car and I grabbed the bouquet of white lilies in the backseat as Haley stared into the distance, lost in another world yet again. “We’re here” Haley finally said, her first words to me in over an hour. I nodded in agreement to Haley’s statement and I held her hand as we walked up to the gravesite. I always thought of graveyards as creepy and solemn and basically just a dark place to be. In contrary, it wasn’t like that at all. Call me crazy but being here felt, well peaceful.

    It was cold here though; cold as in the weather, not a cold kind of feeling. There was a sudden breeze that chilled me right to my bones and I held Haley close to me so she would feel warm. I passed Haley the bouquet of lilies and gave her the honor of laying them in front of the tombstone. Tears filled up her eyes and I hugged her telling her repeatedly that it’s okay. “It’s not your fault. It’s never been your fault” I tell Haley to reassure her but she shook her head, not wanting to believe me. Being here only makes her doubt herself. “If it weren’t for me...” Haley started saying, only to be interrupted by a waterfall of tears flowing down her face. “Trust me honey. It wouldn’t have changed a thing” I said. Haley took a moment to take it all in and then she finally composed herself enough to say to me, “Okay. You’re right”.

    It wasn’t easy for Haley being here at the gravesite. Truth be told, it wasn’t easy for me either. I guess it never will be because being here only makes our loss more real. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, the pain of losing someone will never go away. Like a faint scent in the air, it will always linger. But when you find someone to share the grief with, you’ll start to put the pieces of your life back together. Slowly but surely, the grief will dissipate, only to be replaced with memories, happy ones. We’ll get there someday, I just know it. The thought of knowing for sure that we’d someday meet again made everything better for me and Haley.

    As we stood there, I heard the sound of a car door slamming shut and the sound of faint footsteps behind us. Haley and I turned around to see who it was but the bright light from the sun brought our vision down to almost nothing. It was impossible to see who it was, and so we waited until that person came close enough for us to find out. “Hey. Sorry I’m late” we heard that person’s voice and a smile slowly formed itself across Haley’s lips. It was Noah. 

    “Took you long enough” Haley said, trying to look upset with Noah but how could she possibly be upset with the love of her life? Noah and Haley started a serious relationship when Noah woke up from a coma six days after the accident.

    If nothing, that accident made their bond stronger because they knew that they didn’t want to lose one another and that they loved each other very much. I was happy for them, I really was.

    Today, we decided to pay Katie a visit. It’s been a while since we came here and it’s Noah’s first time. I wanted Katie to meet Noah. I knew deep down that she’d approve of him.

    Noah laid a bouquet of red roses in front of Katie’s tombstone. “I’d take care of Haley, Mrs. Avenue. I promise” Noah said out loud. And I believed him. If there was anyone whom I’d trust Haley with, it’ll definitely be Noah.

                                                              ***

    “Let’s grab some lunch. I’m starving” Haley declared as we walked back to where we parked our cars. “Pancakes?” Noah asked teasing Haley for her love of pancakes. “Pancakes it is!” Haley agreed happily. I watched as the both of them laughed and enjoyed each other’s presence. They both got into Noah’s car and drove off, leaving me behind to catch one last glance at the gravesite. “Katie till we meet again, I love you”

                                                               ***

 Dear Dylan and Haley,

        This will be my last letter to the both of you, partly because I’ve run out of words to say but mostly because I’ve said enough. I know that the letters I’ve written you both in the past have served its promise and purpose. From here on out, I guess I’ll just stick to watching over you. I’ll always, always love the both of you.

 Love Katie.