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SONDER: THE REALIZATION that each random passerby is living a life a vivid and as complex as your own - populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness - an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you will never know existed, in which you might appear once (or maybe none) as an extra sipping of coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a window at dusk.

I felt deep sonder sitting in Calculus on a Monday morning.

All of these people, or rather none of these people knew of my eventful weekend getaway. As they all had their individual lives. So it didn't matter if I stepped into Calculus more glowing than usual, neither did it matter that I now had a supply of prostitute clothes hidden in my wardrobe. I smiled to myself as I took a seat by Emily.

"Hey," she greeted me.

"Morning," I chirped back.

"How are you this happy on a Monday morning?" She frowned, not in a judgmental way, just in a matter-of-fact way. I doubt this person was capable of anything that required real brain power. But again, she was probably faring better than me in Calculus so who was I to harbor such egoistic faculties?

"I just did my homework so I'm proud of myself," I finally said in reply to Emily's statement.

"Ew, you Faction 5 people..." Emily scrunched her features up. "Only you would find joy in completed homework."

For a few moments I actually forgot this toxic, totalitarian system existed. A smile was all I managed to communicate before Ms. Elliot stepped in with five inch heels. Really made one wonder who the fuck she was trying to impress.

When I stared ahead, guess whose head I saw - Jaxon's. The sight of his head instantly undid all the feelings of joy that spending a weekend with Elias did to me. My features morphed from a smile to a scowl.

"Hey, Emily, can we swap seats?"

Jaxon seemed to tense, as though he heard my outlandish request.

"Why?" The blonde returned. Not maliciously, simply curious. She was already pushing her things to my desk before I could deign her with a response.

"Thanks," I whispered as we got up to swap our seats. We garnered some stares. But ultimately, no one dared to question. Except Ms. Elliot who hated me because I was half German. Little did I know, xenophobic and racist corkscrews were turning in her head as a plan to ruin my life formed in her brain.

"I hate the aisle seat anyway. Like, I can't even text in class," Emily rolled her eyes.

I laughed lightly. But on the inside, I felt a deep sense of relief. Whenever I looked ahead, I no longer needed to stare at the back of Jaxon's head. But my happiness was VERY short lived. I was just beginning to enjoy the back of Jaxon's partner's head when Ms. Elliot called for our attention.

"I notice some of you," her eyes zeroed in on me. "Talk too much with your seat mates. In light of this, I want to impose something new. Everyone in this classroom sits in pairs. Can all persons on the right move one seat behind?"

My jaws visibly parted.

"It'll help some people focus better. None of that sitting with your best friend nonsense in this class. You're all here to learn. If you think you're here to socialize then you are wrong. This isn't a night club."

I wanted to bury myself in a hole as students reluctantly began to move. Each screech of a student's chair made me wince. Before long, Emily, the sweet girl I was just getting to know disappeared. And in her place sat delectable Jaxon Ortega who I refused to acknowledge.

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