I Faked My Suicide

Home - Three Days Grace

"Hey Jess." Ronnie's voice whispered. I cracked one eye open to see him leaning over me, wearing a fancy suit and tie.

"What's going on?" I asked. I looked around and noticed I was in the back room of the funeral home. Then I remember Ronnie brought me here for lunch. Funny how we never ate.

"The funeral ended and everyone is starting to leave. I thought I'd come and wake you up because it's time to go."

"Okay." I slowly got off the sofa and staggered my way to the truck while Ronnie changed.

Just as I was about to slip into sleep my phone buzzed in my pocket. My mother was calling. Wonderful. I reluctantly answered it.

"Where are you at?" She yelled.

"Staying at a friends house. Got a quiz Monday and she wanted to study for it. I'll be home tomorrow or the day after." I lied easily.

One, who the hell wants to study on a Friday for a quiz that's on Monday and two, I don't have any 'girlfriends' to hang out with.

She was quiet for a moment. "Okay have fun sweetie." Then she hung up the phone. No, 'I love you' or 'Bye'.

I let out of heavy side and lock my phone. My parents don't know about Ronnie. They believe that I'm part of the popular crowd at school. Oh, how wrong they were about that.

Ronnie walked over to the driver's side and hopped in, starting the truck. "Ronnie, I'm so tired."

"Then go back to sleep." He chuckled. I made myself comfortable against his shoulder before falling asleep again.

I felt like I was being lifted up and carried but I don't know where. I didn't want to open my eyes because I was having an amazing dream where I fit in and actually had friends. Too bad it wasn't real.

My back came into contact with something soft then my head too. Deciding that I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep any time soon, I cracked one eye opened and found band posters covering most of the dark red walls. Ronnie's name was plastered against a single wall, taking up almost the entire space.

"Ronnie?"

"Right here Jess. Go back to sleep." His voice came out of the bathroom across the hall. Not needing to tell me twice, I snuggled deep into the covers and eventually fell asleep. But not before Ronnie came back in and laid down beside

Most people have dreams and few nightmares.

Normal people have dreams and few nightmares.

I have nightmares and very few dreams. Most of my nightmares consist of the same topic.

Being an outcast. Family members telling me to stop filling my head with such dark thoughts. Society silently screaming at me to go away so they don't have to see my 'sinful' clothing.

It hurts.

It really does. Being different from the rest of the world feels like you're alone. No one gets you. Like you're the ugly duckling out of the batch. After years of torture you find ways to cope. The best way for me to cope was cutting.

Every scar has a story.

I'm not a constant cutter. Just when times are hard and I need a break. Like right now for instants. I keep itching my wrist because the need is driving me crazy. I try to keep it discrete though. I look around through the dim light trying to find my phone so I can head home before Ronnie wakes up. I need a razor and I need it now. Now I'm sounding needy.

I spot my phone on the arm of a chair and grab it.

I slip on my Vans and head out the door, leaving a small note on the pillow I slept on.

Countless nights of spending them at Ronnie's have got me in the routine of leaving little notes when I leave. I always get up before him. I don't know how it happens but it does.

Ronnie has no clue where I live. For all he knows I live in a cardboard box under a bridge. That would be an improvement of where I am now. I would never risk my parents seeing him and then forbidding me to see him.

I'm brought back to the present as the cold morning air hits my exposed skin. I walk down the short path that leads to the small two story gray house behind me. I kick a small rock along the sidewalk as I make the all to familiar trek back to hell.

<_<       >_>

 

Well. This chapter is really shitty. Excuse my french. But seriously. Feels kind of rushed. Which it was.

 

EXTREMELY short. I'm not even proud of it myself. Reality sucks.

Any who...... Didn't reread. Sorry for mistakes.

OH and sorry if anyone gets offended about the cutting issue in this chapter and the next. Like I said. Not a very descriptive person.

I like getting to the point instead of dragging it out and making it boring.

ANYWAYS

 

Picture of Ronnie

 

Vote, Fan, Comment(:

 

 

-H