Turn Off The Dark (Frerard)

Part Twenty

-Gerard's POV-

I held Frank's hand when I slept. I held his hand when receiving meds. I held it when I ate, I held it when we were discharged from the hospital. I held it in Mikey's car, on the way home. It felt amazing, being connected to him, even just through sweaty palms.

But in the car, still bruised from his beating, he started to sweat.

"I can't go home."

"What?"

"I can't go home. I can't" Frank repeated.

"You don't have to go home. You can stay with me.. if you want" I added hastily. Frank met my gaze.

"Please don't think you can cut yourself off. Because you're afraid to hurt me, or something."

I nodded, but I released his hand.

----

Mikey dropped us at the curb on his way to work. I hurried up to my apartment. Never was I more determined to stay away from the general public. I was dangerous. Despite being on enough medication to keep the voice quiet, I knew better than to risk it.

So was I being selfish, letting Frank stay with me, around me, knowing I was a clear and present danger to him? Yes. Absolutely.

But Frank. Oh, God, I was more attracted to him than ever before. Everything about him was beautiful. Not perfect. I found beauty in his little imperfections- the little indent in the skin on his face, his messy hair, the little pudge of his belly. To have a boy like that want to be around me- it was hard to process.

In my home, Frank immediately announced he was going to sleep, hugged me, and passed out on my bed.

I stared at him. God. Luscious.

I sat at my drafting table, pulled over a clean sheet of paper and sharp pencil.

I'd kind of wanted to draw Frank for a while. Out of curiosity, to see what that face would look like on paper, y my hand. Here was my opportunity.

An hour.

The only sound was the scratch of my pencil, and in the silence I did quite a bit of thinking about- well, everything. Life. Cutting. My inner evil voice. The psychotic breaks. Mikey. Frank. Frank's life. Frank's laugh. Frank's personality. Frank's eyes. Frank's lips. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Frank.

Goddamn. Nobody had ever affected me this way.

I abandoned my work, crept over to my bed, crawled under the covers with Frank. He mumbled in his sleep and threw an arm over me. I couldn't help the huge smile that came over my face.

"Frankie, just be mine" I murmured, closing my own eyes. Letting myself succumb to the thoughts in my overactive mind.

Frank.

Frank.

Frank.

Frank.