Why I Have To

Chapter 9

***

We arrived at a 5-star resort situated in a quiet corner of Station 1 at around 10PM. We placed our luggages inside the suite as I surveyed the entire room. Luxurious.

A spacious living room with a big LCD TV. A kitchenette. A small dining area. 2 bathrooms; one with a small bath tub and another one with a jacuzzi. 2 rooms.

I opened the first room. Small but spacious with a single bed. David's.

I proceeded to the next room. It is probably the master's bedroom because it is about three times the size of the other room but... with 4 single beds.

This is gonna be a long night.

I mentally laughed to myself. I don't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved. But who am I kidding? Tito Oscar probably requested for this.

David went out to meet some of his friends that are also in the island, while Batchi and Sally are already sprawled on the bed— half asleep.

Jade answered a call from her mom and went inside the bathroom to take a shower while I was left alone with my own thoughts in the living room.

I went to the kitchen and opened the mini bar. I haven't had a drink in a while and I think that tonight calls for a celebratory drink. I took 2 bottles of Corona and went to the bedroom. I tried to wake Batchi and Sally up but they wouldn't budge. They're probably too exhausted to care. So I rummaged through my bag, took my emergency pack of Marlboros and went to the beachfront.

I settled on a quiet corner at the edge of the beach. I sat on the sand, opened a bottle of beer and took a sip.

Ahhh. I missed this.

I looked into the horizon where the dark sky is painted with the pale blue moon scattered with twinkling lights from the stars. Something that we seldom see in the busy streets of Manila.

The crashing waves and the faint noise I hear from the people partying at Station 2 gave me a calming and melancholic feeling.

I sighed.

What am I gonna do with Jade?

I'm falling in love with her.

I am in love with her.

So deep... So hard...

I don't know what to do with it.

I don't know if she feels the same way...

I don't want to lose her...

I took a stick from my pack and lit it up. I took a drag from my cigarette, and another, and another— waiting for the nicotine to kick in.

"I didn't know you smoked." Said the voice that I will recognize anywhere.

"Sometimes." I casually replied.

"And you drink, too?" She asked, not accusingly, as she sat next to me.

"Old habits die hard. I'm of legal age, Jade. I could do whatever I want."

"When did you start?"

"After my mom died, I guess." I simply replied.

"But you were so young then! 13? 14?" She asked, bewildered.

"I know. I joined the wrong crowd when I was young. I thought it was cool—" I paused

"It was a simple act of rebellion. I was so lonely, and mad, and confused... so confused... I didn't understand what was happening around me.. what's happening with myself," I paused as I took another swig from the bottle.