Don't You Wanna See A Man Up Close? (BoyxBoy) [Book 1]

Chapter Six - Here I Go Again...

Atermoiements:

(n.) Distractions or hesitations leading to procrastination.

Chapter Six - Here I Go Again...

----------

I didn't think it would be possible to be as red as I am right now. Conner had put me on a chair in the middle of his living room and gathered Bill, Cas and Frank to help him in interrogating me. The spot was on me and I didn't like it one bit. I would never go along with them if it meant having these awkward conversations.

"Was he good?" Frank blurts out before slapping his hands over his mouth.

Frank is the first one to speak up and we have been sitting here for over twenty minutes, the only thing they've done is staring at me and inspecting every inch of my body to see if I'm really okay. I let out a load groan and throw my head back in frustration. Why do they have to do this?

"He must have been good then," Cas says before taking a sip of his beer.

I am so tempted to stand up and walk away from them, but I know that they'd never go too far. And if I would really dislike it they would stop immediately. And somewhere I want to tell them about how amazing it was, how good he made me feel and how incredible it felt to just let go. That I was able to just be myself for once and let go of all my insecurity's and troubles, to replace them with pleasure and fun.

"He was," I answer to everyone's surprise and immediately they sit up and look me up and down.

"Is he a one night stand, or a you know... more time thing?" Conner asks me with a small smirk on his face.

"If I would see him again and the opportunity would be there then yes, I would definitely choose to be with him again for a night. I wouldn't mind that one bit." I answer honestly and it feels almost relaxing to say it out load. Yes, I would love to have him inside of me again and to be with him for one night more, but only if that situation would spill itself out for me. I wouldn't dare to go look for him and ask him for another round.

Conner stands up with a satisfied grin plastered on his face and walks over to the mini-fridge in the corner of the room. He takes out a bottle and walks over to me again and a gasp escapes me as I see the label on it.

"Here you go," Conner says as he pushes the bottle into my hands and I almost let a tear escape me.

"When did you make this?" I ask while looking at the picture on it.

When we were just 16 Conner promised me that if I would ever get over my never ending nerves and stress, he would give me a bottle of the most special beer. He never told me if it would be expensive, or really good tasting and he wouldn't even tell me where and when he would get it. But he told me that when I could finally let go of my troubles, I would get it from him.

"Two days ago, when you finally agreed to come with us," he says with a small, proud smile.

And he couldn't have made the bottle more special than it is. There's a picture on it, the first one ever taken of the five of us together. It got shattered when my father was angry with me and I never looked at it again. I had stuffed it into a small box and shoved it under my bed, with no intention to ever look at it again. His words would come up if I looked at the pieces and I couldn't stand the thought of having the words, of someone who's supposed to love me, running around in my head with the most painful expression.

And then I start thinking about my father and my mother, and then I remember that she called me last night. I put my free hand on the pockets of my jeans and I let out a groan as I can't feel it in my pocket. I must have forgotten it when I was running around at Ian's place.